


Cruel Summer

by taytaedaylight13



Category: Taylor Swift (Musician), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: A lot of feels, Cruel Summer, F/M, It’s a Cruel Summer with YOU, Little bit of angst, POV First Person, She/He POV, Slight swearing, Summer Love, bts fanfiction, first story!, kim taehyung - Freeform, slightly drama, v - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-14
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-02 00:28:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 41,972
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23926165
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/taytaedaylight13/pseuds/taytaedaylight13
Summary: “I love you” ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?— Taylor Swift (2019)Kana finally found herself spending her last summer vacation in Daegu, home of her childhood memories before she had moved to Seoul. What was meant to be a fun and undramatic summer turned out to be the most whirlwind and heart wrenching summer in her life. And it’s all because of the one boy she had met again, the boy named Kim Taehyung from her old memories. But why does it feel like the boy from her memories and the man standing in front of her now are two very different people?Will her last summer be an unforgettable one, a cruel one, or both?
Kudos: 9





	1. Cruel Summer: Kana’s POV

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! 
> 
> My name is Kaila and this is my first ever published story, it’s inspired by Taylor Swift’s song called “Cruel Summer” and there’s only one man who reminds me so much of the lyrics.
> 
> Hope you like this simple one-shot story about a desperate summer love that was doomed from the very start. :)

_**Prologue**_ :

“Not enjoying the party then?”  
As I was about to head for the _vending machine_ , a familiar gaze then caught mine as he just gave me a rare Cheshire Cat grin being illuminated by the lights.  
“Tell me about it. I can’t believe I found myself here at my cousin’s party instead of exploring the places I missed here in Daegu.”  
“Want to ditch it then?”  
My chest then pounded in nervousness of where the conversation then went as he took my hand without even asking me.  
“What?!”  
“I’ll show you how you should spend your summer here in Daegu. Let’s go.”  
The second we started running, I could feel all the accelerating and wild feelings fill me as our hands are clasped together. I looked at his broad back being shone under the moonlit sky.  
 _‘When did his hand get so big and his back so broad? He’s really not the same Taehyung I knew back then.’_  
“Kim Taehyung-ssi, where are you going to take me?”  
He just glanced back at me showing that _devilish grin_ on his lips that made me almost catch an instant breath and said,  
“Where’s the surprise in that then?”  
And I knew it right then and there, this summer was going to be unlike any other.

Little did I know that it was a start of the _cruelest summer_ I’d ever known.

—  
 ** _Seoul, summer of 2019:_**

There, I’m all packed and ready to go.  
 _‘All of the boxes are labeled properly now, I’m sure mom and dad will send for someone right after summer is over.’_  
As I was about to head for the bathroom, I was surprised when my phone beeped and my cousin’s name popped in the screen.  
 _Oppa: When are you coming to Daegu? It’s your last summer before your job starts this fall right?_  
Shoot. I forgot that I was supposed to be in Daegu too by tomorrow and spend my summer there since I have nothing to do here in Seoul while my parents are in Europe right now.  
 _Kana: I almost forgot, I had a lot of things to sort out here. But I’ll be there by tomorrow!_  
 _It didn’t even take 5 minutes for his reply to come._  
 _Oppa: Okay. But I can’t pick you up at the station tomorrow, I’ll have someone pick you up instead._  
 _Kana: Got it. See you._  
 _Oppa: See you, Kana!_  
After his last message, I just threw my phone back on the bed and asked to myself,  
“It’s my first time to be back in Daegu after all these years, I wonder if anything eventful is going to happen this summer?”

Little did I know that tomorrow was surely going to leave me surprised than ever before.

_**The next day...** _   
_**Daegu:** _

As soon as I stepped out of the train with my trolley, I looked around for any familiar faces who was supposed to be the one to fetch me right now. I then called up my cousin. Yes, it didn’t even take 3 rings for him to pick up.  
“Hello?”  
“Oppa? It’s me.”  
“Oh Kana-yah, did you arrive already?”  
“Yeah, I did just now. Who did you say was going to fetch me instead of you?”  
“Ah right, about that...”  
Before he could even mention the name of the person who’d fetch me right now, my eyes couldn’t stop shaking and my whole body froze the minute I heard a familiar voice coming from behind me.  
“It’s me.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
That voice. I had to turn around to confirm my queasy gut feeling if I was right or not. It turns out I was right then. Our eyes locked on each other’s on cue.  
“Kana? Kana? Are you still there?”  
“Y-Yeah.”  
“Did you find each other then?”  
I was about to respond when out of the blue,  
“Don’t worry. I found her already!”  
The boy standing in front of me then took the words right out of my mouth. My cousin then sighed in relief from the other line saying,  
“Looks like you are in good hands now, Kana. I’ll see you in a few!”  
“Ah, wait oppa!”  
Yet, as I was about to give him a piece of my mind, he hanged up the call first. The boy in front of me just sighed as he crossed his arms just calmly staring at me in silence.  
 _‘Out of all the people that he has to send to pick me up, it had to be him...’_  
“So? Are you going to pretend you don’t know me Kana-ssi?”  
The boy standing in front of me, the boy who had been asked by my dear cousin to pick me up right now, was no other than one of his close friends, _Kim Taehyung_ himself. Yes, **_THE_** Kim Taehyung from the most famous idol group in the world right now, **BTS** themselves.  
 _‘What is Someone like him doing here? Damn it, of course he’s here. Daegu is his hometown Kana!’_  
“Obviously I want to Taehyung-ssi, but isn’t that hard since you’re practically known by everyone right now?”  
I also crossed my arms in return. He just chuckled at my indifferent expression before taking my trolley saying,  
“Whatever you say then. Come on, I’ll take you to him now before you burn a hole to my face if you keep glaring at me like that.”  
I almost fell flustered at what he just said that I had to run after him as he just walked off with my trolley.  
“H-Hey!”

I’ve known Taehyung for a few years now because he’s a close friend of my cousin. They were in the same middle school too together although my cousin is a year older than he was. I’ve met him a few times back then when I was still living here in Daegu however, that stopped of course when my family and I moved to Seoul.  
 _‘Who would’ve thought that the Taehyung I had met back then would become one of the most famous artists in the world right now? And to think I’m in the same car with him now too? Unbelievable.’_  
“If you have something to say, you can say it. Your stare is really hard not to notice, you know.”  
As he noticed me obviously staring at him while he drives us back to my cousin’s house, I just shrugged and told him,  
“I was just not expecting at all to find a famous person like yourself here at Daegu right now. Not to mention, be the one to pick me up from the station too.”  
He just glanced at me before focusing back on the road saying,  
“You do realize I’m from Daegu too right? Adding to that, I was the one more surprised to see you back here.”  
I looked at him confused.  
“What? Didn’t oppa tell you that I was the one who you were to pick up from the station?”  
His eyes also turned wide.  
“No. He didn’t. He just told me to pick up someone from the station because he was too busy to do it himself.”  
“And you didn’t even ask him who it was?!”  
He just sighed telling me sarcastically,  
“I wouldn’t be having this weird conversation with you if I knew, would I?”  
“Whatever.”  
I just rolled my eyes at his sarcastic reply. When did he get so snappy? Back then, I had the impression that Taehyung was laid back and the nice boy next door type of guy, but...  
 _‘Maybe this is how he shows his idol facade now.’_  
The rest of the ride back fell quiet as neither of us had the energy to engage in proper conversation anymore.

“Oppa!”  
“Kana-yah!”  
Finally arriving at my cousin’s house, he just gave me a short hug and pat on the back of my head before someone from behind me then inserted,  
“No hug for me then?”  
My cousin just laughed at what he had to say saying as he also pulled him in for a quick manly hug.  
“Oh come here Taehyung-ah! Of course I wouldn’t deny a hug from you unless you want your loyal fans to come for my head?”  
“Don’t worry hyung, that will never happen. Really,”  
Taehyung then glanced at me before asking my cousin on cue,  
“Hyung, you could’ve told me it was Kana-ssi who I was going to pick up at the station.”  
“Eh? I didn’t tell you?”  
I then inserted with an obvious pout written over my face,  
“Yes, you didn’t oppa. Not to mention, you didn’t even mention too to me that he was going to be here!”  
“Eh? But didn’t I almost tell you who he was before you left me hanging in our call a while ago?”  
Sometimes, I wish I could strangle him so much for leaving such important information unsaid.  
“Don’t worry hyung. It’s fine with me. I was just surprised, that’s all.”  
“Thanks for doing this on short notice Taehyung-ah. How long are you going to be in Daegu before your tour starts?”  
Taehyung just scratched the back of his head while chuckling.  
“About three weeks, I have to be back in Seoul right after for rehearsals and everything. It’s going to be a long nine months right after.”  
“Uwah~ it must be hard being one of the top idol groups in the world now huh? Well, let’s make this 3 weeks memorable! Don’t you think so too, Kana-yah?”  
As my cousin then looked at me, I just blinked and nodded along.  
“W-Whatever you say oppa.”  
Before we both knew it, Taehyung and I could only yell the moment my cousin then drops a surprising news that left us shocked.  
“Okay, now that’s settled and Kana is here, you two get ready! We’re leaving now for my welcome home party for the two of you!”  
“What?!”  
“You can’t be serious hyung?!”  
With no chance of even refusing him, he just dragged my trolley to the front door and said,  
“Kana-yah, go change! Taehyung and I will wait for you here.”  
“B-But...”  
“Hey hyung, I didn’t say yes to all of this yet!”  
My cousin just sighed and placed both of his hands on Taehyung’s shoulders saying,  
“You don’t have to worry about a thing, Taehyung-ah. Let your hyung handle this. Consider it as my gift for you since we haven’t seen each other in a while!”  
Taehyung could only shake his head in disbelief at first but he had no choice but to give in. I just grabbed my trolley and said with a short sigh,  
“Give me 20 minutes oppa. Is the room still the same then?”  
“Of course.”  
Without looking back I just excused myself from the two guys and entered the house as I could hear their voices resuming their conversation.  
 _‘Ha... nothing has happened yet but why do I feel exhausted already...’_

 _30 minutes later..._  
“So, where exactly is this party right now hyung?”  
As oppa was the one behind the driving this time, I found myself at the backseat alone.  
“I hope you didn’t invite too many people too, oppa.”  
Taehyung then remarked with a laugh from the passenger seat,  
“For once, Kana-ssi and I agree on something.”  
One of my eyebrows raised in sudden annoyance.  
“And what is that supposed to mean huh?”  
He just glanced back at me from the back seat and said,  
“Exactly what I said. Don’t you understand?”  
“You...!”  
As I was about to snap back at him, my cousin then groaned when Taehyung and I almost fell to a squabble.  
“Okay, okay. Enough you two. You aren’t elementary kids anymore.”  
The two of us just rolled our eyes again at each other while my cousin just focused on his driving.  
“Hmph.”  
“Fine. Wouldn’t want to upset _**THE**_ famous Kim Taehyung himself.”

 _An hour later:_  
“It’s been so long huh, Kana-ssi?”  
“Look at you now, you’re a full-on Seoul girl now!”  
The party was held at the park near the middle school where my cousin and Taehyung studied together. The former took care of all the preparations and everything.  
 _‘No wonder he had no time to pick me up at the station... this is what he had planned all along...’_  
The other guests of course included their mutual friends back in middle school. Of course, their friends were familiar to me as well.  
“Who would’ve thought too that Taehyung-ah would be a famous idol now!”  
“Yeah! Yeah! Their group is really something else!”  
Taehyung just continued to look like he was having fun with his middle school friends. With him and the rest of his teammates practically being away from their families all the time with their careers & everything, it looks like even time doesn’t stop for him.  
 _‘Usually I’d do anything to leave a party early and all, but maybe I should suck it up tonight... especially since the other guest of honor is enjoying himself so much more than I am.’_  
I thought to myself before I resumed my passing conversations with my cousin’s friends.

I didn’t even notice the familiar brown-eyed gaze that was sneaking a few glances at my direction while I wasn’t looking.

_In a while..._

“Not enjoying the party then?”  
As I was about to head for the _vending machine_ , a familiar gaze then caught mine as he just gave me a rare Cheshire Cat grin being illuminated by the lights.  
“Tell me about it. I can’t believe I found myself here at my cousin’s party instead of exploring the places I missed here in Daegu.”  
“Want to ditch it then?”  
My chest then pounded in nervousness of where the conversation then went as he took my hand without even asking me.  
“What?!”  
“I’ll show you how you should spend your summer here in Daegu. Let’s go.”  
The second we started running, I could feel all the accelerating and wild feelings fill me as our hands are clasped together. I looked at his broad back being shone under the moonlit sky.  
 _‘When did his hand get so big and his back so broad? He’s really not the same Taehyung I knew back then.’_  
“Kim Taehyung-ssi, where are you going to take me?”  
He just glanced back at me showing that _devilish grin_ on his lips that made me almost catch an instant breath and said,  
“Where’s the surprise in that then?”  
And I knew it right then and there, this summer was going to be unlike any other.

“Where are we?”  
“Can’t believe he planned a party and all, but he forgot the desserts...”  
The two of us found ourselves in a small cafe by a familiar looking street.  
 _‘This place...?’_  
“Taehyung-ssi, are you sure it’s alright for you to be seen in a place like this?”  
Without even looking at me, he just continued to gaze at the displayed cakes and menu drinks.  
“Ah, miss! One rainbow crepe cake please.”  
“Hey! Don’t ignore me!”  
He just closed his eyes and fell to a sigh before he looked at the cashier asking,  
“Miss, do you recognize me?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _‘W-What is he doing?!’_  
I could only stare at him dumbfounded of where he’s going with this.  
“Yes of course. You’re an idol and a loyal customer of ours!”  
“What?”  
“Correct!”  
The cashier just bowed politely as she prepared Taehyung’s order while I could only look at him questionably.  
“Um? What just...?”  
“So, are you going to order or not because I’ll be ordering for you instead?”  
He returned my question with another question that I just had to give up for now and say,  
“Fine, fine. I’ll have whatever you’re having!”  
“Understood. Now, can you find us a table?”  
“But,”  
As I was about to refute, I heard him sigh while taking out his wallet.  
“If you’re going to say you don’t want me paying, don’t even think about it. Just let me do it.”  
Without a word, I just turned around and headed for a table away from the window since anybody could pass by and recognize him. I then thought to myself,  
 _‘What did the cashier mean by idol and loyal customer? Don’t tell me...?’_  
While being on my own thoughts, I was brought back to reality when two plates of rainbow crepes and two iced lemonade were placed on the table.  
“Here, my treat.”  
“You didn’t have to really, Taehyung-ssi.”  
He just kept his silence as he sat down across from my seat and facing each other, he said a tiny prayer to himself before digging in for the cake.  
 _‘First, he picks me up at the station. Second, I was together with him in his car. Third, he keeps on irritating me with his sarcasm. Fourth, he suddenly asks me with a grin to ditch our supposed to be party. And now, he treats me to cake and lemonade.’_  
I don’t understand this man in front of me. And it hasn’t been 24 hours yet since we saw each other.  
“Kana-ssi, if you aren’t going to eat, you should’ve told me so.”  
“A-Ah no, it isn’t like that at all.”  
Sensing the awkward tone in my voice, he just took a sip from his lemonade and asked me with a slightly teasing tone in his voice,  
“You’re wondering why the cashier didn’t make a fuss when she recognized me then?”  
Curious as I was, I had to nod.  
“Yes.”  
Taking another bite of his cake, he told me nonchalantly,  
“When she said loyal customer, she was right. I usually come here every time I’m here in Daegu. Even back when I was close to debuting with the guys,”  
What he said actually made sense then. Any ordinary girl or woman would lose their mind if they accidentally see a man like Kim Taehyung in front of them. He then continued,  
“Not to mention, this cafe is owned by one of my friends back in high school. Just like you, he was from Daegu too but moved to Seoul with his family.”  
“I understand now. Is that why there’s a framed signature of yours near where the cashier was?”  
He looked at me surprised of my quick realization.  
“You noticed it then?”  
I nodded.  
“I noticed it the second I stood there a while ago but I needed to confirm it to you myself.”  
“Is that so? Don’t worry if you’re worried of someone seeing us here too, the cafe’s glass windows are reflective so no one’s able to see me with you right now if they pass by.”  
The two of us continued to eat in silence. However, it was the comfortable kind of silence.

“I didn’t know there was a homey kind of cafe here in this street.”  
“Well, now you know.”  
As we finished both of our cakes, Taehyung just observed me with his gaze and asked,  
“So? What brings you to Daegu after all this time?”  
Why is he suddenly asking me that?  
“Nothing really. Since it’ll be my last summer for a while since my new job will be starting soon, I decided to come here and spend it with my cousin.”  
“You two are close as ever huh. You haven’t come back to Daegu ever since you moved to Seoul?”  
His sudden burst of curiosity really left me confused. I really thought he meant to ignore me the rest of the time I was with him.  
“No. I was focused on my studies and club activities. That’s why I want to make _worthwhile memories_ while I’m here now.”  
“ _Worthwhile memories_ huh.”  
After blurting that out, he just drifted off to a daze as if he was recalling something important inside his head right now. Then, all of a sudden,  
“Hey Kana-ssi, take out your phone.”  
“Okay?”  
Getting my phone, I then placed it on the table. He then took my phone even without asking permission from me.  
“Hey Kim Taehyung-ssi!”  
“Now, smile!”  
The moment I heard the word _‘smile’_ , I automatically turned to the camera and smiled.  
“What was that about huh?!”  
“Oh hush, look. At least you have another memory now,”  
He then showed me our photo from my phone.  
“But why my phone? You have your own phone too though?”  
Ignoring what I had to say again, he just said,  
“I love how this phone is purple, maybe I should buy this phone model next since purple is like my favorite and all...”  
“J-Jeez, this guy really...!”  
As I was getting ready to throw fists, he then hands me back my phone. Yet, that wasn’t the reason my eyes turned wide the second he returned it.  
 _*thump*_  
“Taehyung-ssi, why did you suddenly put your phone number in my phone?”  
He then took out his phone and said,  
“Because I’m in.”  
I blinked still baffled of what he was trying to point out.  
 _‘He’s in?’_  
“You’re in for what exactly?”  
Before I knew it, he just showed my name and contact info in his phone, and gave me that _devilish_ smile once again that unsettled me and my nerves saying,  
“I’m in for giving you the best summer you’ll ever have here in Daegu.”  
 _*thump*_  
 _‘Is he serious?’_  
Nevertheless, that was just the start of my last summer with the most unexpected person to show up in front of me, _**THE**_ _Kim Taehyung_ himself.

_The next day:_

“Hey, get up!”  
“Hmm~ 5 more minutes...”  
“Ah damn it.”  
I was still busy in my humble slumber when all of a sudden,  
“?!”  
“Oh, you’re finally awake.”  
As I felt my sheets pulled away from me, the moment I opened my eyes, all I could see was a familiar brown eyed gaze looking over at me still in my half slept state.  
“W-Why am I suddenly seeing that jerk Kim Taehyung in my room right now...?”  
“I’m a jerk now huh?”  
Dawning on me, the voice too felt surreal to be a dream. Rubbing my eyes and finally feeling wide awake, I could barely hold back a scream that my cousin’s voice then echoed saying,  
“Hey, hey... what’s with all the yelling... it’s not even 7am yet...?”  
However I couldn’t move my gaze away from one boy himself.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-You! What are you doing here in my room?!”  
Picking up my sheets, he just plopped it right to my face before he sighed and exited the room as if he didn’t cause a ruckus right now. The nerve!  
“Aah, hyung sorry for disturbing you this early but I’m borrowing your cousin for the rest of her stay here. If you don’t mind,”  
As I swiftly shoved the sheets away that landed on my face, I then got up from my bed yelling,  
“H-Hey Kim Taehyung-ssi! W-What nonsense are you saying this early in the morning?!”  
“If it gets Kana-yah to stop screaming, be my guest Taehyung-ah. Just no monkey business and we’re good.”  
My cousin just patted him on the back while nodding still half asleep.  
“O-Oppa!”  
“I’ll be waiting for you downstairs. If you’re not down in 15 minutes, I’m leaving you.”  
Taehyung just said to me before he went down the stairs that I could only groan in frustration of the bad wake up call I just got at the moment.  
 _‘Ahhhhh! That guy...! I can’t understand him at all...! Jeez! Jeez! Jeez!’_  
Still feeling pissed of what just happened, I just mumbled to myself before I stomped myself towards the bathroom.

 _Minutes later..._  
“Where are you taking me this early damn it, Taehyung-ssi?”  
We were in my cousin’s car that he used yesterday. I’m not even going to ask him if he asked permission to borrow it.  
“It’s the first time I’m hearing someone ask me a question and curse at me all at the same time.”  
“I’m going to throw my fist at your handsome face if you don’t answer me seriously next.”  
As he paused the car for a stoplight, he just looked at me with an amused look in his face asking,  
“You think I’m handsome?”  
 _*thump*_  
 _‘This guy...’_  
“You’re so full of confidence for yourself even this early huh, Taehyung-ssi?”  
I snapped back at him before the stoplight turned green and resumed driving.  
“I’ll take that as a yes then. I’m going to take you out today, so I better not hear any complaining.”  
“I didn’t ask you to do this though!”  
As our squabble continued, he then pointed out,  
“Didn’t I tell you yesterday that I’m in for giving you the most memorable summer of your life?”  
I also then pointed out while trying not to get flustered by the memory of what he said last night.  
“But wasn’t that you just joking around with me?”  
His eyes suddenly turned sad for a few seconds before he sighed quietly to himself and said,  
“From now on, you better believe whatever I’m going to say to you. Whether if it’s a joke or not.”  
I just leaned my head on the head rest and told him with a sigh as well,  
“How am I supposed to do that when I can’t even tell what is a joke to you or not.”  
As I kept my focus on the window and away from his gaze, he didn’t do the same as his gaze once in a while tried to catch mine.

 _ **Seomun Market, around 7am:**_  
“This place...”  
As he pulled over and parked the car, I was about to ask him the reason why he took me to the public market when I had to stop myself as he put on his cap and sunglasses.  
 _‘Is that his disguise?’_  
“Taehyung-ssi, you do know you’re going to stand out like a sore thumb if you wear something like that while we’re out there?”  
Peeking from his sunglasses, he just replied,  
“I usually wear this when I come here in the past even after our debut. Is it bad if I stand out like a sore thumb?”  
I chuckled at his weird reply. Taking the sunglasses off, I just said to him,  
“Don’t cover your eyes this early in the morning, don’t you have lighter colored glasses than this?”  
“If you say so then. Good thing I kept my spare glasses here in the car.”  
I looked at his modified boy next door disguise and nodded.  
“You’re good to go I guess.”  
“You can be pretty useful yourself huh, Kana-ssi.”  
“Hey!”  
Before I could even react, he then opened the car door and left first with me being left behind like an idiot.  
 _‘This is going to be a long day...’_

As we walked around the big market this early, it really felt calming when there weren’t that many people bustling around.  
“It’s really serene when there aren’t many people around.”  
“Now do you understand why we had to get here early?”  
I had no choice but to agree. Taehyung didn’t wake me up early for no reason at all then. He wanted to take me here while it wasn’t crowded and so that he wouldn’t be mobbed too if ever.  
 _‘He could’ve been honest with me from the start... but yeah... that wouldn’t be very Taehyung of him right?’_  
“Let’s get something to eat now. I’m starving.”  
“Sure. Let’s go over there,”  
Taking my hand without even asking _(once again)_ , it felt so natural of him to do it and for some reason, I couldn’t just push it away.

“Two orders please, auntie.”  
“Okay, okay! It’ll be ready in an instant.”  
As we stopped to eat _buchu-jeon_ , the middle-aged woman then stared at the two of us with a huge smile on her face while she started preparing.  
“It’s rare to see youngsters like you in the market around early. Are you two on a date?”  
When she mentioned the word ‘ _date_ ’, I knew I had to correct her but then,  
“I’m just taking her around auntie, it’s been a long time since she came home to Daegu so I thought I had to show her around.”  
Taehyung stopped me and had already thought up something off his sleeve.  
“Taehyung-ssi...”  
“Taehyung?”  
As soon as I realized I blurted out his name unknowingly, I had to cover my mouth and hoped she wouldn’t scream out his name loudly for the market to notice.  
 _‘No, no, no! This is bad...’_  
She then lets go of the plastic spatula she was holding and immediately went up to us and looked at Taehyung as if she knew him.  
“Um, auntie?”  
“It really is you, Taehyung-ah!”  
“It’s good to see you too again, auntie.”  
The two then exchanged pleasantries as I could just sigh in relief of where the situation just turned to.  
 _‘Thank goodness...’_  
The auntie just gave Taehyung a motherly pat on both sides of his cheeks and told him,  
“You’ve grown even more handsome than the last time I saw you huh? Looks like you’re taking good of yourself even while you’re very busy now.”  
“Thank you auntie.”  
I couldn’t hide my smile as I looked at the two of them with a warm fuzzy feeling taking over my chest that the auntie’s gaze caught mine out of the blue.  
“My, my. Who’s this pretty lady with you right now?”  
When I was about to answer, Taehyung once again beat me to it.  
“Ah, she’s the cousin of my close hyung back in middle school.”  
Really Taehyung? That was such a plain answer even for you. She just looked at me still with that friendly smile all over face.  
“Ah, so are you dating Taehyung-ah now then?”  
My eyes could only shake at that question again. Taehyung then quickly corrected **_AGAIN_** ,  
“No, no auntie. Don’t misunderstand.”  
She crossed her arms with a disappointed sigh saying,  
“Taehyung-ah, I know you’re an idol and all, but if you keep on denying yourself a beautiful girl like her, you’re wasting your youth sweetie.”  
“A-Auntie, I promise you it isn’t like that at all!”  
It was no use explaining to her our relationship that I could only giggle at the auntie’s adorable reaction that it can even make someone like Kim Taehyung flustered.  
 _‘Guess there’s a first time for everything... even for Taehyung-ssi.’_  
Finally giving up, the auntie went back to her cooking station and continued to prepare our order that I could then hear Taehyung sigh in relief right beside me.  
“Looks like auntie’s energy was more to handle even for you huh, Taehyung-ssi?”  
“Don’t even remind me. She’s really persistent. I guess all mothers and aunties are like that.”  
The thought of seeing a different facial expression on his face right now than his usual poker face, made me smile unknowingly.  
“Do you two know each other even before you debuted and all?”  
I asked him curiously.  
“Yes. She also knows my mother of course. Mother would come and take me here back when I was still around in elementary school. They became friends instantly.”  
“No wonder she knows you so well.”  
“Just because you’ve seen me flustered and all, don’t think you can use that against me. Got it?”  
He grinned at me with a very sarcastic tone. Well, two can play at this game. I then opened my phone showing him one photo,  
“Hmm... actually I won’t delete this photo of you feeling embarrassed just now about what auntie was saying to you and all,”  
“Hey! Kana-ssi! When did you take that huh?! Give me that!”  
Not even feeling sleepy anymore, it was worth to see the quite annoyed expression in Taehyung’s face this time. Just a little payback won’t hurt.

I hadn’t notice at all that auntie just stared at us while heartily laughing to herself at the childish banter the two of us were doing.

 _A little while later..._  
“Ha~ that was some good healthy _buchu-jeon_ in the morning. Thank you Taehyung-ssi.”  
“Fine, fine. Are you sure you’ve deleted the photo already?”  
He told me that auntie was persistent, but oh boy he was also a persistent one too.  
“If you keep on asking me that, I won’t tell you.”  
He just raised his eyebrow saying,  
“Do you want to walk home alone?”  
I just shrugged at him saying with a grin,  
“It’s fine. I don’t mind roaming around alone. It’s still early anyway.”  
Scratching the back of his head, he just let out another heavy sigh telling me,  
“Come on, let’s go and get more to eat.”  
“More food? Of course I’m in!”  
The two of us continued to roam around the food stands and tried all the food we could find and eat.

“Ah, you look so much like that handsome boy on TV!”  
One auntie from the food stall then remarked. Taehyung and I looked at each other in silence.  
 _‘Uh oh... I wonder how he’s going to handle this.’_  
“I get that a lot auntie. They tell me I look like a model and actor too!”  
“Is that so?! I’m not good with names and all but you do look alike!”  
The two of us fell to a laugh as soon as we walked along.  
“A model and actor huh? Really?”  
“Hey, I am one you fool.”  
I _rolled_ my eyes at him again telling him,  
“You’ve only acted once and you’re already this overconfident.”  
“I’m not overconfident, I’m just pretty confident.”  
Time passed on as our nonsensical conversations continued. Maybe waking up early had its advantages sometimes.

As soon as we had noticed the amount of people grow around past _eight_ in the morning, he then took my hand saying,  
“We should get going.”  
“Okay, let’s go.”  
Why did it feel so natural to hold hands with him? I thought passingly to myself as we sprinted out of the market and headed for the car.

After our morning trip to the _Seomun Market_ , I noticed his phone wouldn’t stop ringing that I had to tell him,  
“Taehyung-ssi, aren’t you going to answer that? It must be important if the person is calling for a few times now.”  
Weirdly not saying anything back, he just parked the car somewhere and grabbed his phone. His face then turned grim the second he looked at the caller ID.  
“Taehyung-ssi?”  
“Excuse me for now, Kana-ssi.”  
“Ah, okay. Take your time.”  
Trying to keep his composure, he just took a deep breath in before dialing the number that had been calling him nonstop.  
“Hello?”  
Being polite, I just grabbed my phone as well and checked my SNS accounts if I had any important notifications until,  
“W-What?!”  
I was surprised the moment Taehyung’s voice turned to a surprise yell.  
“Well shit. Did they take a photo then? No wonder that the crowd suddenly increased right after then,”  
Of course I couldn’t understand what he was trying to say, but I felt worried. I know it’s not my place to pry and all.  
“Okay, I’ll take care of it hyung. Thanks for calling me. Sure. I’ll contact you later. Do keep me updated,”  
Before I knew it, his call then ended just like that. I don’t know if it was okay to ask him or not. He just started up the car and said to me with a serious tone over his voice,  
“I’m taking you home for now, Kana-ssi.”  
“What?”  
Something must have happened. Something serious. He just looked at me with a slightly pitiful look taking over his eyes, however it wasn’t the look of pitying me but more like...  
 _‘Why does he look like he’s pitying himself?’_  
“Taehyung-ssi, are you in any danger? Please don’t lie to me,”  
That tense look in his eyes then disappeared and a light laugh then came out of his mouth saying,  
“No, I’m fine. I just need to sort out something today. I’m sorry for breaking my promise for now,”  
For some reason, it didn’t look like he was lying but it also looked to me he was hiding some part of the truth.  
“As long as you say you’re okay, I’ll believe you then.”

The drive home felt so quick that before I knew it, he dropped me off and I was back at my cousin’s house. I could only remember his last words to me before he left.  
“Kana-ssi, I’ll be sure to keep my _promise_ to you. Whatever happens.”  
 _‘Why are you doing so much for this one tiny promise Kim Taehyung?’_  
That one question kept on echoing my head even as I enter the house feeling a bit _blue_. A _feeling_ that felt _new_ to me.

_A few hours later..._

With my cousin gone from the house because he had to meet someone, I was alone for a few hours now. No word yet from Taehyung. I looked at my phone and there were no new messages too.  
 _‘So much for an unforgettable summer...’_  
I told to myself as I then went back to sleep.

 _*ring* *ring*_  
My eyes were then snapped awake the second my phone started ringing. Without even looking at the caller ID, I could only think of one person.  
 _‘Taehyung-ssi...!’_  
“Hello?”  
“Kana-yah!”  
However, it wasn’t his voice. The voice belonged to my cousin himself.  
“Oppa?”  
“Where are you right now?”  
His voice from the other line seemed a bit panicked.  
“I’m at home... Taehyung-ssi dropped me off a few hours now, he said he’d something important to take care of.”  
“That idiot...”  
Idiot?  
“Oppa, are you two hiding something from me?”  
He just sighed from the other line and said,  
“Kana-yah, listen to me. Okay?”  
“Okay.”

My eyes couldn’t stop shaking at the bewildering news he then said to me and my whole body almost tensed too.  
“W-What?”  
Before I even realized it, I jumped off of my bed and headed straight for the main door running, taking my phone and wallet only.  
“T-That guy really...!”  
I then started running. Running to go find one boy.

“It seems there had been media articles showing Taehyung going around _Seomun Market_ this morning,”  
“What?!”  
It all then started to make sense. Why we had noticed the sudden increase of the crowd at the _Market_ this morning. His sudden grim expression because of the call he answered in the car.  
“But that wasn’t the reason why Taehyung was upset,”  
“What do you mean oppa?”  
My cousin’s voice from the other line tried his best to keep his cool before he said to me,  
“Taehyung was afraid of those articles catching a photo of you with him.”  
“T-Then that means...”  
The reason why he dropped me off first and said he had something to take care of,  
 _‘Was because of me?’_  
“O-Oppa! It isn’t Taehyung-ssi’s fault at all! He was just keeping his promise to me! Ah... damn it. This is all my fault.”  
“Don’t go blaming yourself now, Kana-yah. This was just inevitable.”  
I felt frustrated at myself for not noticing.  
“But he could’ve told me oppa!”  
“Kana-yah, that’s how he lives his life now with all the fame. I’m pretty sure Taehyung knows that himself. I’m sure he’s used to it already, but he knows you’re not.”  
I blinked in confusion of what he was trying to say.  
“What do you mean oppa?”  
“He separated and dropped you off first because he had to call his label and asked them to find the articles that managed to get your photo and take them down immediately.”  
Kim Taehyung, you fool. Why would he be more worried about me? Shouldn’t he be more worried about himself right now?  
“Why would he do something like that?”  
My cousin then replied without second thought,  
“Because that’s the kind of person Kim Taehyung is Kana-yah, he knows what he has signed up for but when it comes to the people he knows in his personal life, he doesn’t want them to get involved with any kind of negative news about him.”  
I just closed my eyes and my free hand then turned to a closed fist as I also then realized,  
“I don’t understand him oppa! I know he meant to protect me and all but what’s the point if he’s going to shoulder the _cruel_ burden all by himself? That fool! Jeez! I’m going to find him and give him a real piece of my mind...!”  
That’s when I jumped off of my bed and ran towards the front door with my phone while grabbing my wallet as well. I could hear the panicked voice in my cousin’s voice as he asked,  
“Hey Kana-yah, where the hell are you going now huh?!”  
I just looked at the slowly turning to orange sky above me and told him sarcastically,  
 _‘Just you wait, Kim Taehyung-ssi!’_  
“Going to find the guy who broke his promise to me of course!”

I then roamed around the town, from the cafe where we were at last night, at the park where the party was held too last night, I even found myself looking for him at the same _Market_ this morning. Yet,  
“J-Jeez, where could’ve he gone?”  
As I was trying to stop myself from pressing the call function on my phone for one boy’s number, I was surprised when,  
“Aren’t you the girl who was with Taehyung-ah this morning?”  
The minute I turned around at the familiar voice, I said,  
“A-Auntie, how did you recognize me?”  
She just smiled at me saying,  
“Of course I wouldn’t forget the first girl I’ve seen with Taehyung-ah.”  
What?  
“What do you mean by the first girl you’ve seen him with, auntie?”  
“Exactly what I mean, my dear. I can tell now too that something bad may have happened.”  
She was spot-on. I nodded and asked,  
“Auntie, do you have any idea where he might have gone? I want to call him too and all, but I’m pretty sure he’s going to ignore it.”  
Looking around, she then took me by the hand and led us to an area where there weren’t that many people.  
“Come with me for now, dear.”  
“A-Ah, okay then?”

“What’s your name again, my dear?”  
“Kana, auntie.”  
We found ourselves sitting by a bench that had a tree with enough shade in the middle of a not-so crowded street.  
“What a pretty name. Have you known Taehyung-ah for a long time now?”  
Does she really think I’m still in some kind of intimate relationship with Taehyung?  
 _‘I might have to wing with it for now...’_  
“We’ve known each other since middle school auntie since he was a close friend of my cousin with whom I’m currently staying with for this summer.”  
“So you’re from Daegu too then?”  
I nodded and explained,  
“Yes I was, but my family and I moved to Seoul when I entered high school. And it’s my first time to come back here ever since,”  
“Oh my. Didn’t you know that Taehyung-ah also moved around the same time to Seoul because he became an idol trainee?”  
Now that she had mentioned it, if he and the members debuted back in _2013_ , he was around 18-19 already. But that would be around the same time I was about to graduate high school too...  
“Ah, is that so then auntie?”  
“Even after he debuted and their group got more recognition through the years, he still remained the same innocent and down-to-earth boy I’ve known. He’d never forgotten to visit me at the market every time he came home.”  
Somewhat, the Taehyung she was talking about and the Taehyung I happen to know too sounds like the same person indeed. Although part of his personality has turned weird, maybe because of the fame and all. Maybe?  
“That’s good to know, auntie.”  
“Kana-ssi, can you promise this old woman one thing?”  
She then turned to me seriously while gently grabbing both of my hands and said,  
“Will you promise me that you’ll watch over that boy for my sake too?”  
“Watch over Taehyung-ssi for your sake too?”  
Nodding, she just sighed worriedly telling me,  
“I know he’s trying to steadily keep his feet on the ground because of his position and all now, but when I saw him with you this morning, it felt like I saw a part of his old self coming back.”  
His old self coming back huh?  
“Auntie...”  
“Take care of him, Kana-ssi.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
I felt perturbing thumps coming from my chest right after that instant.  
 _‘T-Take care of him?’_  
Still feeling a bit surprised of her words, she just patted me on my shoulders with that motherly smile taking over her face saying,  
“I bet he’s somewhere by that riverside near his old elementary school.”  
“A riverside? Where exactly auntie?”  
Not forgetting my real reason of talking with his auntie, I finally got a lead of where that one boy could be.  
“Are you going to him now, Kana-ssi?”  
Standing up, I then nodded and bowed politely to her for the last time before telling her,  
“Yes. There’s something important I have to tell him after all. Thank you auntie, I’ll excuse myself now!”  
I waved goodbye to her as I made a run for the direction she had told me. Her last words then echoed at the back of my head,  
 _‘Be true to what you’re about to tell him, my dear. What do you have to lose, right?’_

 _Half an hour later,_  
“Thank you uncle.”  
As I closed the taxi’s door, I found myself at an elementary school that auntie had told me to go to.  
 _‘So this is where he graduated elementary school from...’_  
Remembering her exact directions, I then continued walking,  
“From the school’s gates, continue heading left and make a right and head straight forward.”  
Following carefully, I knew I was heading closer to where he might be the second I heard the sound of water flowing nearby. I then quickened my footsteps and before I knew it,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _‘There could only be one owner of that hair and ear piercings...’_  
As soon as I found a familiar silhouette from my eye gaze, I quickly opened my mouth saying,  
“K-Kim Taehyung-ssi...”  
As if not expecting my voice to echo his hearing at all, he quickly turned around to confirm it was me or not with his obvious brown eyed gaze shaking.  
“K-Kana-ssi...?”  
I just slowly walked up to him thinking how beautiful the sunset colored sky looked from the riverside’s reflection behind him.  
 _‘I finally found you...’_

“Kim Taehyung, you fool!”  
I then yelled at him from a few centimeters, letting out of all my frustration at him as he just kept on staring at me in disbelief and silence.  
“You really thought you did something by protecting me by taking down those articles that caught us roaming the market together huh?”  
“Kana-ssi...”  
Before he could say anything, I didn’t let him do so and continued on.  
“No! I won’t accept your protection when you can’t even protect yourself too you fool! You had something important to take care of huh? A-And here I was getting worried over you for no reason at all!”  
I didn’t even realize that my eyes had already started watering.  
“...”  
“You even made oppa worry too... you’re really a frustrating guy, yet you would do so much too just to protect someone like me...! W-Why are you doing so much huh?”  
As my tears kept pouring down, he then approached me and placed his big hand on top of my head saying,  
“I don’t know myself.”  
“W-What?”  
Our gazes then caught each other’s like clockwork. His sad, brown eyes glistened under the sunset’s view almost left me breathless.  
“For me, I just didn’t want to hurt anyone and get them caught up in my own problems. That’s why, I know I had to do something about you being involved in a media article, the media can be pretty sleazy too.”  
“Taehyung-ssi... but I just don’t understand why you didn’t take down the other articles that had you on it too?”  
Taehyung just gave me a wry smile along with such sad looking eyes saying without hesitation,  
“Because that’s how I’ve done things ever since, Kana-ssi.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
There it is again. That painful squeeze coming from my chest. A feeling that I couldn’t just wrap my fingers on what it was.  
“Taehyung-ssi...”

After a few more minutes of silence, the two of us found ourselves staring at the orange colored sky and listening to the calming sound from the river’s streaming.  
“I’m sorry for yelling at you just now, I know that you were just trying to protect me and all.”  
I broke the silence first.  
“No, I should be the one saying sorry for h—-?”  
Before he could finish his sentence, I then inserted,  
“If I hear you apologizing for having me be involved with the whole market issue and all, then save that apology for yourself Taehyung-ssi; or else I might end up slapping you right now.”  
Finally hearing that chuckle of his, he nodded saying,  
“If you say so then. Thank you, Kana-ssi. I mean it this time.”  
I have never heard and felt a _‘thank you’_ more sincere than a thank you coming from a guy like Kim Taehyung himself.

It was like a breath of fresh _summer_ air.

“Did your agency call you again?”  
I asked him as we both walk home together. Following behind him, he looked up at the sky, and said,  
“Yeah. Manager hyung called me saying that the articles have been taken care of already. The members also called me right after.”  
I sighed in relief.  
“That’s good to hear then. The seven of you are very close with each other even after all these years.”  
He paused and asked me,  
“Kana-ssi, can I ask you something?”  
Also pausing too, I had no choice but to nod.  
“Of course, what’s wrong?”  
Walking up to me, he looked at me with such serious looking eyes that my nerves felt a bit jittery.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _‘Why is he looking at me like that right now?’_  
“Taehyung-ssi?”  
“Will you still let me make due of my promise to you?”  
I blinked at the very unexpected question, however my lips couldn’t help but form to a smile.  
“Yes, but you have to promise me one thing in return.”  
It was his turn to blink at my sudden proposition.  
“What do you mean?”  
My gaze then went up at the slowly turning to twilight sky watching us both from above, I then asked him head on,  
“Promise me that whatever happens from here on out, you won’t let anybody get in the way of you fulfilling your _promise_ to me. Don’t you dare break that one _rule_ okay?”  
He just let out a laugh at what I had to say saying while following my gaze up at the sky,  
“Got it. But don’t you start blaming me when your face gets flooded all over SNS because of us being seen together.”  
“Maybe you’re the one who’s going to be bothered us being seen together though?”  
He then caught me staring at him on cue.  
“Ha? What is that supposed to mean?”  
Shrugging, I just smiled suspiciously at him before I turned my back at him and started walking off alone first.  
“Just saying, I know you might be already interested in someone from your line of work. And it’ll be troubling for the two of you if you get seen with a normal girl like I am.”  
“Hey! Who gave you such ideas that I’m interested in someone?”  
His voice grew loud as I could tell he hasn’t moved from his position even as I walked off and left him be.  
“Just an intuition. I bet you have a lot of girls you’re already thinking about right now, be sure to tell her properly you fool. Don’t worry, I won’t get in the way. I promise.”  
 _*thump*_  
For some odd reason, I felt a slightly pinching feeling taking over my chest. Of course, it wasn’t the good one. And also, I didn’t understand why I felt that way too.  
 _‘Hmm? That’s weird...’_  
Completely ignoring the reason why, I hadn’t noticed that a faint voice was then carried by the fleeting breeze that passed by us right then and now.

“You’re the fool for thinking I’m interested in anyone else.”  
Glancing back at where he was, I then asked him,  
“Hey Kim Taehyung-ssi, did you say something just now?”  
He just closed his eyes and sighed before crossing his arms while resuming his walking too.  
“No. I’m just telling myself that you’re much more of a fool than I will ever be.”  
“And the rude jerk is back.”  
 _Rolling_ my eyes, the two of us continued to walk home with him following closely behind me.

The day I had I thought that would be uneventful turned out to be as eventful it could ever be. But... maybe it was a right start to the rest of this _unforgettable_ summer.

—  
 _A few days later..._

Ever since that day, Taehyung and I spent more time with each other. He’d take me around more places here in Daegu, places that he loved spending time at. He sometimes ignores the places I want to go to. However, when I finally managed to convince him to go somewhere I wanted to, I felt happy like a little girl going on vacation for the first time.

It was elating and annoying to be spending time with him. We would argue about the littlest of things like elementary students. Yet, I couldn’t imagine a better summer than to be with him. The more time I spend with him, the more time I get to see the sides of him he might have only shown to close people in his circle, the more these budding feelings which I still can’t put a name to would linger within me.

 ** _One morning, 83 Tower:_**  
“Look! Look isn’t it beautiful Taehyung-ssi?”  
While I was busy feeling at awe like a little girl at the beautiful bird-eyed view of Daegu from the top floor, Taehyung just feigned a reply as if I wouldn’t understand it. But really, who knew such a great view can be seen from this place?  
“Y-Yeah, right. That’s good.”  
He just sat down on the sofa trying to keep his composure ever since we entered the tower a while ago.  
 _‘Don’t tell me he’s...’_  
Coming to sit next to him, I could tell that even with his disguise and all, he was uncomfortable of somebody finding him out.  
“Taehyung-ssi, we can leave now if you want to.”  
“Ha? Why? We just got here,”  
He slightly took off his mask as I then said,  
“I don’t want to enjoy myself while you’re here looking so miserable as if you’re some fugitive who’s on the run and you’re on the lookout for someone catching you red handed.”  
“What are you suddenly blabbering about?”  
The two of us looked confused at what each each other was trying to say.  
“What? Aren’t you uncomfortable now because someone might come and recognize you? Am I wrong?”  
Taehyung then quickly fell to a laugh at what he had heard.  
“Idiot! I can’t believe you really thought of that...”  
I felt embarrassed for concerning myself with him again when he’s just treating me for a fool over and over.  
“Ah! Whatever! I’m going back to watch the view...!”  
Feeling frustrated, I was about to stand up when,  
“Wait,”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
I was instantly put to a stop when I felt his hand grabbing on to my left arm. Our gazes found each other’s in a snap.  
“What? Are you going to say something even more teasing than usual?”  
“No. Sorry for that, it was just funny how you thought I was uncomfortable because someone might recognize me in public when we’ve been exploring the city together in public for the past days already.”  
With a sigh, I then asked,  
“Then what Taehyung-ssi? I won’t understand if you don’t tell me you dork.”  
He also stood up that it caught me completely off guard.  
“Would you believe me if I told you I have a fear of heights?”  
“W-What?”  
I had to blink a few times to make sure I wasn’t just hearing things coming from his mouth.  
“I said I have a fear of heights. Okay, you understand it now? That was so simple to understand but you didn’t get it.”  
Ignoring his complaints of me, I tried my hardest not to coo at him because of his very rare childish reaction. Another side I’ve seen of him right here, right now.  
“Who knew **_THE_** Kim Taehyung himself would admit that to me? Are you sure you don’t have a fever right now or anything?”  
I playfully placed my right hand on his forehead with a giggle.  
“Ha-ha, very funny Kana-ssi. Of course, I’m still human after all. Idol or not, I still have fears of my own.”  
With where the conversation was going, I dropped the sarcasm and sighed quietly to myself before saying,  
“Do you hate high places then?”  
“The word _‘hate’_ is a bit extreme, I just dislike it. That’s it.”  
When he suddenly opens up to me and lets his heavy, tall walls down even for a simple moment like this, it made me realize why he’s close to my cousin after all this time. And that for some reason, the Taehyung in my memories and the Taehyung right beside me are the same person in way or another.  
“You know, Taehyung-ssi, I love being in high places like this because it makes me feel like as minuscule as my existence and problems are to this world, it’s still beautiful like this view nevertheless.”  
“That’s a rather deep impression coming from you, Kana-ssi. But,”  
Glancing at Taehyung’s side profile staring steadily at the view, his lips then curled to a small sincere smile as he returned my eye contact saying,  
“For some reason, I can’t disagree with what you had just said.”

The two of us continued to stare at the view together in silence while different groups of tourists continued to roam the area.  
“This is the first time I’m this calm while staring at something this high.”  
He muttered something that might have been meant for his thoughts alone. I hid a laugh to myself while getting this ticklish feeling all over my chest at the same time.  
“Thank goodness then.”

“Wow, so this tower is almost as tall as the _Eiffel Tower_ in Paris and _Sydney Tower_ in Australia! I’ll be sure to ask mother a photo of the _Eiffel Tower_ too.”  
While we were making our way towards the tower’s cafe to take a break, the two of us stopped upon a display wall about the tower’s height comparison with other prominent towers in the world.  
“Your mother is in Paris, Kana-ssi?”  
I nodded and told him while taking a commemorative photo of the display wall for my mother,  
“Yes. Both she and my father are in Europe right now as they had something important to take care of over there for the summer.”  
“Is that so? Have you been to Paris yourself?”  
My lips just turned to a nonchalant smile as I answered with a dreamy sigh first and a slightly condescending one at the very end,  
“No. I’ve only seen a lot of _Asia_ and I’ve been to the _U.S._ too a while back during university but I hope to go there soon though. I’m not even going to ask you if you’ve been there since obviously you and the guys have been to every part of the globe already with your tour stops and all.”  
He just scoffed at me under his breath. How cheeky.  
“I’m glad you understand then.”  
“Jerk.”  
As I was about to elbow him on his side, he managed to dodge my attack as we continued to annoy each other walking towards the cafe.

“That’s their signature _matcha espresso latte_ then?”  
“Yes. That was in their highly recommended section in the menu.”  
The two of us found ourselves at the tower’s cafe. Even when you’re just sitting at the cafe, the view was still as breathtaking as ever. I don’t know if the person sitting across from me felt the same way though.  
“Taehyung-ssi, are you sure you didn’t want anything to drink right now? Or something to eat?”  
Checking his phone, his just shook his head saying,  
“No, no. I’m good.”  
“Okay spill, what’s wrong this time?”  
Crossing my arms, he gave me a small _smirk_ also crossing his arms as well.  
“Are you worried about me huh, Kana-ssi?”  
Feeling a bit annoyed at his reaction, I told him with a sigh as I continued to sip on my latte while trying to avoid raising my voice at him,  
“Forget it. For someone to ask a question on top of another question, you’re just avoiding the issue at hand.”  
His quite taken aback gaze then went straight to mine as he lets go of his phone and said,  
“I’m sorry. I’m fine really, I’m just adjusting to the idea of being up this high so I don’t want to feel sick by eating or drinking anything right now.”  
He might have been busy with his phone to distract him from the height, it doesn’t help at all too that we’re sitting right by the window view where yes, you can see the whole view from the tower itself.  
 _‘I might have been a little harsh with my tone too right now...’_  
“I understand Taehyung-ssi. I’m sorry for my tone just now. I’ll excuse myself for a while,”  
Without hesitation, I then stood up from my seat and walked to the order counter before he could even stop me.  
“H-Hey Kana-ssi...?”

“This is...”  
A few minutes later, I walked back to where Taehyung was sitting and placed down the cup of tea and bottled water in front of his side of the table. He just looked up at me blinking. I explained to him,  
“It’s peppermint tea. It’ll help with the nerves you’re feeling right now. If you decide not to drink it, I also brought you a bottle of water just in case.”  
I watched him slowly take the cup and had a sip before telling me,  
“Thank you, Kana-ssi.”  
“You’re welcome. I’ll help you if you need anything at the moment, it’s the least I can do for everything you’ve done for me the past week.”  
The two of us continued to sip our drinks in silence, but instead of a tense kind of silence, it was back to the comfortable silence I’m used to whenever we’re together.  
“Kana-ssi...?”  
Our gazes then caught each other’s as soon as he mentioned my name while putting down his drink.  
“Is something wrong? You don’t like the peppermint tea?”  
Shaking his head, he just leaned back on his chair and took a deep breath before saying,  
“No, it’s the opposite actually. Thank you, I didn’t think you’d left the table because you brought me something to drink...”  
With a small smile forming on my lips, I just told him,  
“To be honest, I didn’t know what to get you actually. I know for a fact that you don’t drink coffee and all, not to mention I can’t buy you any fizzy drinks. Good thing, they had peppermint tea in their menu!”  
Blinking again while looking at me, he asked,  
“How did you know I don’t drink coffee?”  
Biting my lip, it felt weird to tell Taehyung about how my cousin told me every little detail about him to me back then, I don’t know what was his intention by telling me and all, but I never even tried to forget it... _WEIRD_ , right?  
“Taehyung-ssi, you do know that the seven of you are worldwide stars right? Whenever I’m logging in to my SNS accounts, updates about you guys always pop up in my screen.”  
I made up a little white lie as my reply. Taehyung just gave me an unexplainable facial expression. I couldn’t tell because it was in between his usual in-deep-thought face or just his usual indifferent idol facade face.  
“Oh, is that so? Okay then.”  
His stare slightly turned cold that as he was about to grab his phone, I then blurted out,  
“Taehyung-ssi, about what I said just now...”  
“Uh huh?”  
He just tapped his long fingers on the table while waiting for the continuation to what I was going to say.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _‘O-Okay, but why am I suddenly getting nervous?’_  
I don’t know if it was because of his straight up, curious brown eyed gaze observing me or I’m just simply feeling a bit embarrassed of what I’m going to tell him. Or both.  
“Actually, you know that oppa has a tendency of oversharing sometimes right? Well, even if we weren’t close back then, he’d talk about you a whole lot to me. Even from your simple likes and dislikes,”  
I examined his next facial expressions carefully right after I had said that. His eyes turned soft for a moment before it turned to a slightly embarrassed expression as his left hand then started messaging his temples while his right hand just covered his face.  
“That hyung... really can’t keep his mouth shut ever since...”  
“That’s just how he is Taehyung-ssi... I hope he didn’t do the same thing to me when you’re hanging out together though?”  
Taehyung then without hesitation told me,  
“I don’t know how I should answer that.”  
“W-What?!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Before I knew it, it was my turn this time to get flustered as Taehyung then fell to an unexpected hearty laugh at my reaction once again.

It looks like that he wasn’t that tense anymore, I felt relief flow inside my whole body right then and there.

 _A few moments later:_  
Right after we were done relaxing at the tower’s cafe, Taehyung and I had planned to leave before an attendant by the main information desk then approached me saying,  
“I forgot to give you this when you and your companion came a while ago.”  
“You didn’t have to, but thank you.”  
Taking the flier from her, she gave me a polite bow and another one to Taehyung, who was standing at a distance from me because he was on the phone, before she walked back to the information desk. Right after he was finished with his call, I asked him,  
“Looks like they didn’t recognize you huh?”  
Taehyung just nodded and glanced at the flier I was then holding.  
“That’s because I wasn’t making real eye contact with her just now or else things would’ve turned a whole lot different. Not to mention, I was on the phone with the guys. What’s on the flier?”  
The two of us then looked at it together.  
“There’s a cable car service in this tower?!”  
“Don’t tell me you...?”  
Without even waiting for him to finish his sentence, I grabbed him by the arm and ran straight towards where the direction of our next destination was.  
“Come on! This is going to be fun!”

“Wow...!”  
“I can’t believe they’d really let us ride alone when around _13_ people can fit in here,”  
When we reached the tower’s cable car area, there weren’t many people around and next thing we knew it, we got to ride the cable car just the two of us. At first, I was hesitant whether or not we should go since Taehyung had an issue with heights and all but I could still recall what he said right before we got on a few minutes ago,  
“I did promise you to make this summer unforgettable; if that’s what you want, it’s fine with me.”  
 _‘Now that I look at it..’_  
I had noticed that Taehyung wasn’t feeling any kind of tension even when the cable car started moving.  
“What’s inside your little brain right now huh?”  
He then asked me while catching me staring at him red-handed.  
“Who are you calling little brain huh?”  
“That’s not a lie though.”  
“H-Hey!”  
As I was about to get ready to throw a punch at him, I just crossed both of my arms and scoffed off an annoyed sigh telling him,  
“Hmph. Looks like someone is okay now with heights since he’s able to throw back-to-back not-so nice compliments at me like normal?”  
Without a reply, he just continued to stare at the view from the cable car’s windows.  
 _‘Ha... one moment he’s slurring one teasing remark after another at me, and then next thing I know it, he suddenly turns quiet and has that deep kind of look taking over his whole face.’_  
I thought to myself slightly exhausted as I just turned my back from him and admired the view while moving closer to the cable car’s windows.

“I can’t wait to send this view to my mo—-?!”  
“Kana-ssi...!”  
As we were near the end of the cable car’s line, I was taking photos through my phone when all of a sudden the whole cable car started to wobble that as I was about to fall on my butt, my eyes couldn’t stop shaking when,  
“Are you okay?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
I then felt a warm pair of arms then wrap around my waist from behind me catching me just in time. I felt all the heat then go straight to my cheeks. Good thing he can’t see my face right now.  
 _‘S-Shit... calm down Kana... c-calm down... or else he’s going to hear your heartbeat loudly racing right now...!’_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Scolding myself inside my head, I had to clench both of my hands together on my heavily pounding chest along with my phone and hoped Taehyung hadn’t noticed my nerve wrecking silence.  
“Kana-ssi? I’m asking you if you’re okay?”  
I could feel the close distance of his breath from behind my ear.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yes! I’m fine now. Just a bit shaken up, but I’ll be okay.”  
“Good.”  
It took a few more moments of us being stuck in that position that I had to tell him quickly before he could notice me feeling nervous of our current situation,  
“Um, Taehyung-ssi? You can let go of me now?”  
“Ah right, right.”  
Gently letting go of his arms around my waist, the two of us just stood beside each other in silence as I was busy trying to keep my cool of what just happened.  
 _‘I guess I’m the only one getting nervous over something as trivial as this... Jeez! You’re not a school girl anymore Kana! Get a grip already...’_  
I thought to myself like an idiot as I took a deep breath in and out before telling him,  
“Thank you, Taehyung-ssi.”  
For some reason, he also took a deep breath in and out before he said his reply to my awkward thank you.  
“Don’t worry about it.”  
I couldn’t tell what his face’s expression was when he said that but yes of course, something simple as this wouldn’t make _**THE**_ Kim Taehyung himself nervous as his voice was as chill as ever.

Little did I know that his reaction was the exact opposite of what was in my mind right here, right now. Once again.

As soon as we arrived at the bottom of the tower through the cable car, I couldn’t help but feel at awe at what was waiting right below.  
“T-This is...!”  
“Ho... who knew there was this kind of garden view here, not to mention,”  
I pointed to where Taehyung was looking at saying with wide eyes,  
“There’s a mini amusement park in this place?!”  
“Obviously that’s what it says? Can’t you see what’s written there on the sign?”  
I glared at him for his sarcastic answer.  
“I can see it you dork! You don’t have to be so mean about it. Hmph.”  
“Come on, before I change my mind.”  
He just let out a small chuckle before taking my hand without notice as we made a run for it.  
 _*thump*_  
 _‘W-Why doesn’t he even ask permission if he can just take my hand...? J-Jeez this guy,’_  
Recalling what happened inside the cable car didn’t help too, especially I could still feel the same warmth of his arms around my waist to the hand that was holding onto mine.  
 _‘Why am I suddenly feeling like this?_  
I thought strangely to myself as my chest then felt a throb right at that very instant, and not the good kind. Again.

We roamed the mini amusement park together. Although I had thought that he wouldn’t enjoy a place like this, I didn’t hear him complain once and he felt genuinely at ease at this place.  
 _‘Is it because there aren’t that many people around? Or is it because he hadn’t been to an amusement park ever since?’_  
“Taehyung-ssi?”  
I then glanced at him as we continued walking along. It took a few seconds for him to return my glance as he was busy being in his own thoughts for the hundredth time.  
“What’s wrong?”  
“Is it your first time at an amusement park?”  
He then told me,  
“Not really. I’ve been to amusement parks for shootings before but,”  
“But?”  
Taehyung’s eyes then suddenly softened that it made me a bit surprised. Not to mention, he just gave me a somewhat rare childish smile that his mouth turned to a _boxy shape_ continuing,  
“But I prefer this kind of setting right now. Without any cameras, without any script, and without any prying eyes.”  
“Taehyung-ssi...”  
For the first time since spending a lot of time together this week, nothing beats seeing the boy in front of me smile so sincerely like a child. I don’t understand why he’d even let down his walls for someone like me. But, at the back of my head, I thought,  
 _‘No wonder why Kim Taehyung is such a superstar indeed, just by smiling like that, he can leave anyone enthralled... even a normal girl like me.’_  
Before I knew it,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I know I should be telling you to smile more like that right now Taehyung-ssi, but you don’t have to hold back anything when we’re together.”  
“Kana-ssi...”  
I don’t know when and where I got my sudden burst of courage but, I just couldn’t stop myself from placing both of my hands on his cheeks and told him whatever what was on my mind that very moment.  
“Thanks for keeping _your_ side of the _promise_ so far.”  
The two of us just looked at each other on cue as he gently removes both of my hands on his cheeks before placing his right hand on top of my head telling me,  
“I always _keep_ my promises.”  
There and then I realized what that _blue_ feeling I had been keeping to myself for some time now. That kind of _secret_ feeling I had caught all along.  
 _‘I like him, I like you, I like Kim Taehyung.’_

It was around past sunset when we found ourselves by the garden right outside of the amusement park’s view. There were so many beautiful flowers blooming even in this _fever_ of the summer.  
“What a beautiful garden huh, Taehyung-ssi?”  
Trying to act normally around him after I had finally realized my feelings for him, I swore to myself that I will keep this feeling a secret no matter what. _And even if I bleed, he’ll be the last one to know._  
 _‘He can and must never know about this, Kana.’_  
“Yeah, it is.”  
I don’t know why, but I’ve seen the sunset with Taehyung for the past days already, but today... I had to grip myself by the chest because although I felt a bit suffocated, the view was just as beautiful as if I saw this orange sky for the very first time.  
“Everything okay, Kana-ssi?”  
His brown eyes then reflected perfectly with the view that I had to catch my breath instantly.  
 _‘I’m wonder if it’s okay to feel this way about you, Taehyung-ssi?’_  
“Yeah, I just think that the sunset is more beautiful than usual. I don’t know why though?”  
“What are you saying right now? You silly woman.”  
He just gave me a passing chuckle as he followed my gaze as well to the picture perfect sky. Just by standing right next to each other, it felt peaceful. Trying to calm my heavily perturbing heart, I just smiled to myself whispering,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _‘The things you make me say, Taehyung-ssi.’_  
“Hmm? Did you say something Kana-ssi?”  
I just shook my head and told him while taking out my phone and pointed the camera lens towards up above us,  
“Uh-uh. It’s nothing, I’m going to send this beautiful view to my parents.”  
“Can you send the photos to me too?”  
I nodded without hesitation.  
“Of course. Are you interested in photography by the way?”  
As he continued to admire the orange sky, he then confessed,  
“I’m studying photography whenever the guys and I are on break from promotions, apart from traveling and visiting my hometown.”  
Why is it so easy for him out of the blue to say things that seem _so personal_ for him to me?  
“Taehyung-ssi, you know that you don’t have to force yourself to tell me everything right?”  
His eyebrows then raised in confusion of my question.  
“Eh? What do you mean I’m forcing myself? I’m saying these things to you because you didn’t give me any reason not to,”  
At that moment, another warm and tingly feeling took over my whole body. I tried my best to resist myself from blushing at what he just blurted out.  
“Jeez, why are you suddenly blurting out nonsense?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Before I knew it, I started walking away in embarrassment because I could already feel my cheeks go hot and of course I didn’t want him to know. Feigning my annoyance, I just pretended to step away from him saying,  
“Come on, let’s get going. Oppa might be looking for the two of us for dinner already.”  
“Hey Kana-ssi...!”  
Hearing him call out to me from a short distance made me smile once again, but then reality just sinks in as my thoughts then threw at me,  
 _‘ Nothing lasts forever, Kana. This is already over before it can even start. You know that right?’_  
“Thank you Kim Taehyung-ssi, I don’t think that’s enough for the past week. Don’t you think so?”  
I said out loud for him to hear as my back was still facing him at a distance. He then replied,  
“I don’t need you thanking me, I’m just doing the things I wanted to ever since.”  
Wanted to huh?  
 _‘You’re just each other’s escape from reality.’_  
Once my mind then pointed out that very obvious fact, I knew that I had to end this before things got way deeper than it should.  
 _‘Not to mention, he’s **THE** Kim Taehyung everyone loves and knows. And... he’s already interested with someone else. That I know for a fact too.’_  
When I told Taehyung that I saw articles of him and the rest of **BTS** frequently when I’m on SNS, they weren’t music related articles mostly.  
 _‘BTS’ V linked with TWICE’s beautiful maknae, are those two secretly dating? Fans have been speculating a budding relationship between the two idols.’_  
Not to mention,  
 _‘BTS’ V spotted with a new woman in his hometown in Daegu. Is she the reason why fans are contemplating that he and TWICE’s Tzuyu have broken up?’_  
I couldn’t help but tell him next,  
“It must be relieving for you to do things you want to when you’re not on your idol mode huh?”  
Shit.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _‘D-Did I just?’_  
Realizing I had revealed my inner thoughts at that very moment, I could hear his sigh from a distance as he then said,  
“Yes. It’s relieving because one thing, I don’t have to force myself to be the guy everyone sees in their phones and on the screens, and second, I’m doing all of these because...”  
“Because?”  
I had to try my very hardest not to glance back at where he was. No matter how curious I was. No matter how much I want to look at his brown eyed gaze. However, the very words that then echoed in the silence coming from his mouth made me the most bewildered.  
 _“I love you.”_  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
The pounding of my chest grew loud for a second and then settled in right after a few minutes of silence between the two of us.  
 _‘I love you.’_  
Such simple three little words can hold so much or mean no significance, although I wanted to believe it was the former... in reality, in the positions we live right now, the latter mattered. Closing my eyes, I just gripped both of my hands together behind me while forcing out a fake smile telling him,  
 _‘I love you but, I’m sorry.’_  
 _“That’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard from you, Kim Taehyung-ssi.”_  
And with that, the two of us never met eye-to-eye right after. And not even the witness of the sunset colored sky was enough to stop me from crying in the middle of the summer’s comforting breeze as I found myself walking home alone.

—  
 _A few days later..._

“Yes mama, I’m doing good here. Ah yes, oppa is the same as usual of course.”  
It had been a few days since what happened with Taehyung. The two of us stopped communicating and yes not to mention,  
 _‘He really went back to Seoul the day after because **BTS** had an instant schedule to settle all of a sudden...’_  
Looks like this was _fate’s_ way of telling me,  
 _‘You did the right thing Kana.’_  
With him not being around to see me since that day, I’ve had free time to go to places where I actually wanted to go by _myself_. Without him constantly questioning me, without his usual bantering way of talking, without his consistent teasing of me left and right... just me and myself alone.  
“Kana dear? What’s wrong? You suddenly turned silent,”  
I completely forgot that I was on the phone with my mother right now.  
 _‘A-Ah damn it... stop thinking about him right this instant Kana!’_  
“No, I’m fine mama. I was just thinking about how I miss you and papa already very much.”  
I was relieved to know that she and my father were enjoying their trip to Europe together. At least the both of them deserve to have a happy summer together.  
“Silly girl. We’ll be together before you know it. You only have a few days left in your stay in Daegu right?”  
I nodded and explained,  
“Yeah. I’ve already reached places I wanted to go, and even places I didn’t expect to go to this summer because of...”  
It then dawned on me that I had almost mentioned that one guy’s name to my mother of all person.  
“Because of who dear? Ooh, don’t tell me you’ve met a boy?! Tell me more!”  
Ah damn. I should quickly change the subject.  
“It’s nobody mama! Just one of oppa’s old friends. I forgot that I have to do something right now, take care over there okay? I’m hanging up,”  
“W-Wait a minute! Don’t you dare hang up the call at me young la—!”  
Panicking, I ended the call before she could get suspicious with me. Mothers really. Putting down my phone back on the table, I just wrapped both of my arms around my knees anxiously.  
“Mama is so going to give me a piece of her mind when we see each other again... jeez...”  
 _‘Just the mere mention of his name can make me panicky like this.’_  
As I was busy being in my own bubble of thoughts, a familiar voice then entered the living room asking,  
“Kana-yah, everything alright? Who were you talking on the phone just now?”  
“Ah oppa, welcome home. It was just mama.”  
Placing his bag and hat down on the sofa, he then placed a yellow box with the name of a familiar cafe written on it.  
 _‘This is...?’_  
“Oh, auntie called? Is she and uncle having a great time in _Europe_ then?”  
Shaking my head off slightly snapping out from my daze, I said,  
“A-Ah yeah. I’m just glad the two of them are having a great time together.”  
Oppa just gave me a suspecting gaze and a soft sigh before he headed straight to the kitchen to grab something. Judging from the clanging sounds, he was grabbing small plates and utensils.  
“Oppa, do you need help?”  
“No, no. I got it. Just stay put there since you were just deep in thought to yourself once again.”  
Busted.  
“I’m sorry.”  
Placing down the plates and utensils on the coffee table in front of us, he just said to me before opening the yellow box,  
“I’m not going to force you to say anything, but it’s been a few days already. With Taehyung going back to Seoul because of his abrupt schedule on short notice, I thought you’d be bummed but it looks like the opposite to me?”  
“The opposite?”  
What did he mean? Was I that too obvious lately? As I was still questioning myself inside my head, my eyes couldn’t stop blinking the moment I saw what was inside the yellow box.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _‘T-That’s...!’_  
“Is that the rainbow crepe cake from that one cafe?”  
I asked him on cue. Oppa just nodded before proceeding to cut the crepe cake. No wonder that cafe’s name on the box looked so familiar.  
 _‘So here’s your slice of cake and your lemonade, Kana-ssi.’_  
One boy’s voice then echoed at the back of my head.  
“Yep. This cafe is somewhere Taehyung and I frequently go to since,”  
“Since he knows the owner of the cafe? And you might know the owner too?”  
It was oppa’s turn to blink at how I was able to figure that out. He then asked in curiosity this time,  
“Yeah. How did you know about that? Don’t tell me Taehyung took you to that same cafe then?”  
I had no choice but to nod.  
“Y-Yeah, he did. The first night I came to Daegu. The same time when we escaped from that party the same night.”  
He just gave me an amused laugh as a reaction.  
“No wonder the two of you disappeared that time! That dork really took you to that cafe huh? The place is supposed to be _our own little secret_ too.”  
“What? Really?”  
His amused face was then replaced by a sighing expression.  
“Say, Kana-yah, be honest with me.”  
When oppa’s voice out of the blue turned to a slightly serious one, my heart rate then started to accelerate a little in nervousness.  
“O-Okay, but where is this conversation going huh?”  
Placing down the plate with a slice of the cake by my side, he then dropped the question that made me the most uneasy,  
 _‘Please not that question... please no.’_  
“Do you like Kim Taehyung, Kana-yah?”  
“Oppa...”  
I’ve already lied to that one boy because I had an important reason for keeping my feelings towards him at bay. But, to my cousin, who I’ve considered as an older brother of mine ever since we were little, I can’t find one reason why I shouldn’t tell him the truth.  
“Kana-yah, before you say anything, I just want to tell you that I’m not the type of big brother who’s going to tell you who you should like or not, if you like someone even a guy like **_THE_** Kim Taehyung himself, I wouldn’t judge you for that. There’s no right and wrong when it comes to liking someone.”  
As oppa gave me a reassuring pat on the shoulder, I had to ask beforehand,  
“You wouldn’t get mad at me then oppa?”  
He playfully poked me on the forehead and said,  
“ _Pabo_. I wouldn’t call myself your reliable older brother for nothing. Now Kana-yah, you can be honest with me here on out.”  
With oppa’s comforting words, I just took a deep breath before I then poured out all of my troubles to him, especially about one guy himself.  
“Yes, I know it’s wrong but... I like Kim Taehyung-ssi. I like him.”  
The tears I have been holding back unless I was alone came so easily right then and now.

“Kana-yah,”  
“With me leaving from a few days now, we will not see each other again oppa. I don’t want to risk getting my heart torn apart because of a _distant summer memory_ from a _distant summer love_ that happened so quickly and will fade away so quickly too... I don’t even know if it’s love or I’m just simply admiring him.”  
Oppa just placed his hand on top of my head and explained,  
“I’m not going to tell you what’s the right or best thing to do with what you’re feeling right now Kana-yah, but whatever you decide to do with your feelings for Taehyung, I’m going to respect that both as his hyung and as your older brother of course.”  
“If I answer his confession, that means I’m acknowledging his feelings too. But, not everything works out so easily unlike in _K-Dramas and in movies_. We live in completely different worlds, in different ways of life. We might work out in a few months but what about in the long run?”  
I asked myself so many times since that day,  
 _‘Should I deserve someone like him? Someone who is being constantly watched over by the whole world to see?’_  
 _‘Will I handle it? Will I just feign a smile every time I see him travel far away and tell him I’m okay when I’m actually not?’_  
 _‘Can I even tell him not to look at any other girl especially when he’s surrounded by other talented women who makes the world happy just like he does?’_  
I don’t ever want to become someone like that.  
“That’s why, I think it’s better for me to keep all of these feelings to myself forever oppa. That way, I won’t be burdening him no matter what. And we probably are the _kind of people who just came into each other’s lives for a period of time, but are not meant to be together._ ”  
“Kana-yah, you’re too hard and _cruel_ with yourself the most, do you know that?”  
I nodded.  
“Yes. I am oppa. That’s why, please keep all of this just between the two of us okay?”  
With a long sigh, oppa just gave me an _‘okay’_ smile saying,  
“Whatever you say. But Kana-yah, I just want you to know that Taehyung cares a lot about you. I think you should know that.”  
The word _‘care’_ weighed a lot in my mind. Maybe that’s the reason why he paid so much attention to one little promise to me. Maybe that’s the reason why he gradually torn down his walls when he’s with me. Maybe that’s the reason why I ended up being one of those many girls who fell in love with a _superstar_ who felt real and untouchable all at the same time.  
 _‘I love you.’_  
Those three simple words echoed in my head all over again as I took a bite of the cake with a familiar taste of sweetness mixed with a bit of saltiness from my tears.  
“That’s good enough for me, oppa.”

 _2 days before heading back to Seoul:_  
As oppa and his other friends took me around for the rest of the week, the days passed by instantly in the blink of an eye and it was around 2 nights before I have to head back to Seoul.  
“Kana-yah, if I told you I had a party planned for you tonight, would you be willing to go?”  
It was around dusk when oppa and I were driving somewhere together without an obvious destination.  
 _‘No wonder he’s been going in and out of the house for a few days now...’_  
“Do I have a choice though?”  
He let out his usual energetic filled laugh and said,  
“Of course not! I’m going to make this a night you won’t forget!”  
For some reason, when he said _‘I’m going to make this a night you won’t forget’_ made me a bit queasy.

Yet, he wasn’t kidding around especially with what’s going to happen that same night. The most _cruelest_ night of my last _summer_.

***  
“You’re really going back to Seoul soon huh, Kana-ssi?”  
“Time does fly a lot when it’s summer too.”  
So the party that oppa had prepared for me was a drinking party in one of the bar’s he and his friends often go to. The good thing was oppa is friends with the owner _(I don’t know how he’s friends with most of the business owners here in town)_ but we got the bar all to ourselves, with only his friends and that one boy’s circle of friends as well.  
 _‘I doubt he’d even come here too since he’s in Seoul right now for crying out loud.’_  
I told myself with a scowl as I continued on with my drink.  
“Hey! Is Taehyung coming or not?”  
“Yeah, we haven’t seen him since he came back.”  
“Not to mention, he ditched his own welcome back party weeks ago!”  
Some of his same-aged friends then turned to oppa who just winged his reply telling them as if he was acting he’s drunk already,  
“Taehyung-ah? I don’t know, it might be hard for an idol to come out here especially since he’ll be coming from _Seoul_ and all.”  
“That’s too bad.”  
“Oh well, he has a lot more important responsibilities to deal with than us.”  
“Yeah, it can’t be helped especially when their group is on the top of their game at the moment.”  
A lot more _important_ responsibilities huh? As I could see my blurry face being reflected in the glass of my drink, I then thought to myself again,  
 _‘Guess I’m the one to blame for him breaking the one “ rule” I made him promise to me those last weeks.’_  
Throwing off any thoughts of him, my night then continued on usually.

“Kana-yah, are you having a great time?”  
I was sitting by the corner of the bar’s counter alone with my wine and then oppa came to sit right beside me.  
“Yeah, thanks oppa. Especially with everything these past days, thanks for listening to all of my complaints and to even my pathetic crying.”  
“Jeez, you’re making your oppa embarrassed.”  
As he cooed at me like a little girl, I was about to playfully punch him in the chest when all of a sudden,  
“Hmm?”  
“Oppa, that’s your phone right? You should take it.”  
Grabbing his phone ringing in his pocket, he almost cursed the moment he saw the caller ID.  
“Sh—, This idiot...! Excuse me for now, Kana-yah.”  
“Ah sure, just take it.”  
When he pressed the answer function in his phone, the first words that then came out of my cousin’s mouth,  
“Hey, why are you suddenly calling huh?”  
Uh oh. Oppa might be happy go lucky and all when he’s sober but when he’s drunk, his mood turns to a full 180 degree change.  
“Oppa, give me the phone.”  
“What? You’re here? But aren’t you supposed to be?!”  
Without even hesitating, I took his phone from him and said to the person on the other line,  
“Ah, I’m sorry but oppa is drunk right now. Who is this by the way?”  
“Kana-ssi?”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
This voice. The second my breathing almost stopped for an instant, I knew of course even in my slightly tipsy state, there could only be one owner of that deep, charming voice.  
“Why are you...?”  
And yes, before I could even finish what I was about to ask, a tall figure with those familiarly looking ear piercings and blaring brown eyed gaze in the dark then came running from the front entrance.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“Kana-ssi,”  
“T-Taehyung-ssi,”  
Although it was dark and the only lights illuminating the whole bar were dim and filled with neon light signs, I couldn’t be hallucinating now, right?  
“Taehyung-ah?! What are you doing here?!”  
As the two of us just looked at each other in eerie silence, oppa finally came back to his senses having realized the two of us might not be hallucinating after all as he stood up and grabbed Taehyung by both of his shoulders saying,  
“H-How did you even know we were here?”  
Wiping the obvious sweat from his forehead, Taehyung then peeked to catch my gaze as he then asked,  
“Had hyung been drunk for a while now, Kana-ssi?”  
I just nodded in reply.  
“Hyung, you did ask me to come here though?”  
My eyes then grew wide at what I then heard with my own two ears.  
“W-What?!”  
I looked at oppa suspiciously on cue as I could see him gulp nervously like a person who just got caught at the scene of a crime.  
“Well I did text him the address tonight but I didn’t expect him to come too.”  
“Jeez! Oppa you big blabber mouth!”  
“A-Ah, Kana-yah!”  
Putting down my wine back on the bar’s counter, I stood up from my seat and was about to escape to the bathroom when,  
“Oh! Taehyung-ah?!”  
“You really came!”  
“Kana-ssi, we need to talk.”  
“?!”  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
I was put to a stop the moment I felt a familiarly warm hand pull onto my left one and led the two of us running straight out of the bar’s entrance together. He completely ignored anyone who tried to call out to him and stop him.  
 _‘This is bad... this is bad...’_  
I thought to myself in a panic stricken mantra as I could only stare dumbfounded at his broad back and his hair bouncing back and forth, much like that very _first night_ we snuck off together.

“You can let go now.”  
“Okay then.”  
We didn’t go far since it had started raining a bit when we reached outside of the bar. The two of us just stood in front of each other awkwardly, I then asked him to let go of my left hand that was still being held in his right one.  
“Kana-ssi...”  
“Don’t please.”  
Trying to avoid his brown eyes, I focused my stare at the dripping raindrops from the dark night sky and listened to the echoing sounds of the raindrops dropping to the ground.  
“I don’t know why you’re here and all, but I have nothing to say to you Taehyung-ssi.”  
I told him without batting an eye towards his gaze.  
“Kana-ssi, about that promise,”  
The minute he mentioned about the ‘ _promise_ ’, our eyes found each other like clockwork. My lips then formed to a small wry smile as I then told him,  
“Don’t worry about that anymore Taehyung-ssi. Consider that promise _broken_ already, so you don’t have to do anything with me anymore.”  
His whole face suddenly turned disheartened at my choice of words. Scratching the back of his hair in annoyance, he then asked in frustration,  
“Why do you keep pushing me away Kana-ssi? I, I just don’t understand...!”  
As the conversation turned heavily tense, I hadn’t realized the next thing that then came out of my mouth.  
 _“I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you!”_  
What?  
“What?”  
Those words were meant for my mind alone, damn I’ve really done it this time. The alcohol is sure getting to me now. _Summer was indeed a knife._  
“Taehyung-ssi, whatever you said that day, whether you had meant it or not, I... don’t...”  
“Tell me straight to my eyes if you don’t feel the same way about me. If you don’t love me. If you don’t like me in any way. Then, I’ll accept it. I’ll let you go _once and for all._ ”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
He then quickly puts both of his big, strong hands on the sides of my cheeks that I couldn’t avert my eyes away from his no matter how much I wanted to. His voice sounded like an _angel_ , but his eyes were pretty much like a _devil_ completely catching me off guard.  
“Taehyung-ssi, why?”  
“Because it’s simple,”  
My chest then throbbed the second he leans his forehead to mine that we could feel each other’s breathing in an instant at how close we were.  
 _“I love you.”_  
 _*thump*_  
There it is again. That painful squeeze caused by those three simple little words coming from one guy’s lips. My whole body quivered that I could only push him away with my eyes starting to water.  
“Kana-ssi?!”  
 _‘That’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard from you, Kim Taehyung-ssi.’_  
I then _screamed_ at him, _for whatever this was worth,_  
 ** _“I love you! Ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?”_**  
I threw back the exact words I had told him lastly that day, but now, those words came back to haunt me. These _blue_ feelings just come out so naturally whenever it comes to him.  
“I shouldn’t feel this way, but I never meant to fall in love with someone this summer. Much more someone like you, _**THE**_ Kim Taehyung himself. I _screwed_ up,”  
“What do you mean you _screwed_ up? We haven’t even _tried_ anything yet!”  
With where the conversation was going, the tears just kept trickling down my cheeks that I just wiped them away telling him,  
“I’m sorry Kim Taehyung-ssi, but I just can’t...!”

As I was about to run away even if it meant for me to get wet in the rain, my eyes couldn’t stop shaking and my whole body froze when I felt a strong arm pulling me back on cue.  
 _*thump* *thump* *thump*_  
“?!”  
One arm then wrapped around my waist and the other just held me tightly at the back of my head as I felt a warm sensation landing on my lips.  
 _‘No, no, no... this can’t be happening...’_  
Not being bothered by the rain at all, this guy kissed me without permission. _**THE**_ Kim Taehyung himself kissed me under the witness of the pouring rain and night sky. It was as if I was in some sort of drama or movie scene.  
“T-Taehyung-ssi!”  
As our wet lips parted for a second, I was still in complete shock of where the situation was now between us, yet when I was about to say something else, he just said to me before claiming back my lips for the second time,  
“I’m not going to hold myself back from this point on.”  
“M-Mmmm...”  
His first kiss was _gentle_ like any innocent daydream you’d imagine your first kiss would be, but the second one felt _forceful but magnetic_. As much as my mind was telling me to push him away, my body and heart didn’t listen. _That’s how it felt like when Kim Taehyung kisses you._  
 _‘It doesn’t help too that I’m slightly drunk, damn it...’_  
Before I knew it, the kiss deepened that as soon as he found the access to my tongue, he didn’t hesitate and made both of ours dance with each other’s mixed with the taste of raindrops. The way his body just warmed me up even with the cold rain and him holding me tightly as if he was scared of me running away at any chance were bewitching.  
“A-aah, T-Taehyung-ssi...”  
“No, I won’t stop now.”  
Letting out a soft moan, my head felt dizzy maybe because of the wine getting to me or the thrill of his lips asserting its need for mine, it then hits me then and there like lightning,  
 ** _‘I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you!’_**  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“...”  
“...”  
Finally opening up my eyes to the reality, I came back to my senses as I then gathered up enough strength and courage to push him away.  
“I’m sorry... I’m sorry Kim Taehyung-ssi!”  
“Kana-ssi!”  
Being quick on my feet, I turned my back at him like that day. _And then I ran_. I ran like my life depended on it that the rain alone comforted me as I let the rest of my tears fall down.

“Ma’am, are you sure you’re okay?”  
I don’t know how I found myself at the back of a taxi. With my memories suddenly turning hazy as my exhaustion was creeping out on me, I just remembered that I had to run away from someone and it didn’t matter where and how I had to do it. And now, here I am.  
“Y-Yes, I’m fine.”  
 _Saying ‘I’m fine’ but it wasn’t true_ , the kind taxi driver just quietly listened to my _crying_ at the _back of the car_ as I went home _drunk from the bar_.  
 _‘I love you.’_  
“I’m sorry Kim Taehyung... I love you but this is how fate should be.”  
I told myself pathetically with a sob while staring at the car’s window as I ignored the constant ringing of my phone coming from right beside me.  
 _7 missed calls: Kim Taehyung_  
 _3 new messages: Oppa_  
 _“Kana-yah!”_  
 _“Where are you?”_  
 _“Don’t make me worried like this! Damn it!”_  
 _2 new messages: Kim Taehyung_  
 _“Where are you?”_  
 _“Call me back please, Kana-ssi. Please be okay.”_  
 ** _1 new missed call: Kim Taehyung_**

Grabbing my phone, I just dialed one number instead under my previous call logs.  
“Hello? Kana sweetie? Your cousin had been calling me nonstop for a while now and he seemed worried, is everything okay?”  
Hearing the familiar and warm voice from the other line, I just said as the last of my tears streamed down,  
“M-Mama, can I come home now?”

And that was how I _sealed both of our fate_ s.  
And that was how the _cruelest night of my last summer had ended_.

***  
 **Epilogue:**

 _ **Winter of 2019, Paris, France:**_  
“I’ll get going first then mama, papa.”  
“Take care sweetie.”  
“Call us once when you’re back at your apartment. Okay?”  
I nodded at whatever my father was trying to say as I just waved goodbye to them before closing the door.

It had been months now since I settled here in Paris. Not wanting to be a burden to my parents, I decided to live by myself as soon as I started to settle down at my new work here. It had been a whirlwind few months.  
 _‘From getting used to culture... to the new kinds of people... and even learning the language itself...’_  
I was still not quite there yet as a new citizen living in a foreign place and I get lost from time to time, but having remembered the _memories I had left back in Korea_ , it just motivates me to keep making more worthwhile memories, _both the good and the bad_.

I visited my parents a few times whenever I’m free. As much as they wanted me to stay with them, I wanted to get used to the idea of not depending on them too much. That’s why after a month I started at work, I moved to an apartment unit near my workplace.  
 _‘Being alone sure can teach you a lot.’_

After picking up a few groceries on the way, I headed home while also busy admiring the beautiful white snow falling down from the winter sky. I then happened to pass by a big billboard that had 7 familiar boys flashing together on the screen that read,  
 ** _“The world phenomenon from South Korea, BTS coming to perform in Paris, France. Get your tickets now while they’re still available.”_**  
One boy’s familiar nostalgic brown eyes then caught my attention even if his hair wasn’t brown anymore, but he still very much looked like the same guy in my summer memories. The very same guy that still had a hold of my heart even after the things that happened to us.  
 _‘I’m in for giving you the best summer you’ll ever have here in Daegu.’_  
However, that real guy I once could call or text became an untouchable one far from my simple reach.  
 _‘That’s who Kim Taehyung really is, both as an idol and as a person.’_  
Taking a deep breath, I just tightly adjusted my grip on the paper bags I was holding on to.  
“I bet it’s snowing too in Seoul right now.”  
I told to myself with a smile as I continued walking along the snow filled streets of the _City of Love._

 _A few moments later,_  
“Hmm? I wonder who this package is from? I hope it’s not something that’s going to explode in my face if I open it.”  
When I arrived home, there was a package waiting right by my doorstep. The address came from Korea, but didn’t have the addressor’s name. I put down the box right next to my laptop as I turned it on before changing out of my clothes.

“Ah, a video call?”  
As I was busy taking out the rest of my groceries, my laptop then started beeping trying to tell me someone was trying to contact me through video chat. Clicking the accept tab, a familiar face then appeared on the screen and a familiar voice then filled my room.  
“Hey! Kana-yah! Can you see me? Can you hear me clearly too?”  
Taking my seat, I nodded and waved to him by the webcam.  
“Yes, very loud and clear oppa.”  
“Good to know. Then, how’s my favorite dongsaeng doing there? Is Paris treating you great now?”  
It’s been a while too since my cousin back in Korea last video called me. Right after what happened back those past months, he didn’t push that topic about one man from my summer memories any further.  
“I’m getting used to the place and people here oppa, but of course I still get lost from time to time. Good thing I had a subject about foreign languages back in university, so communcation isn’t that much of an issue to me now.”  
He just chuckled as I continued to tell him about the experiences I’ve piled up and saved for him to know.  
“Oh, by the way oppa,”  
“Hmm, what’s wrong?”  
Grabbing the strange box that was delivered to my doorstep, I then asked him,  
“Did you happen to send a package to me?”  
“Ah, a package?”  
I nodded as I explained to him,  
“Yeah, it’s from Korea and all but there’s no name of the sender. So I maybe have thought it was from you?”  
He just scratched the back of his head acting confused and said,  
“Hmm... I don’t think it’s from me but I know I might not only be the one who can send you a package all the way from here.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
His last remark made me slightly concerned.  
“Oppa, what are you trying to say?”  
“Just open the box, Kana-yah. And yes, you can take it from me, it’s not going to explode in your face.”  
Curious as I was of what was inside, I had no choice but to follow what he had just said.  
“Fine. But if it ends up exploding, I’m sure my insurance is going to have a field day with you.”  
“Quit being so overdramatic Kana-yah.”  
Grabbing the cutter from my drawer, I then opened the strange package.

“W-What the...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
When I finally opened it, my eyes turned wide and also started shaking at what was inside.  
“O-Oppa, don’t tell me you had anything to do with this?”  
He just laughed off my question like it wasn’t supposed to be a big deal and all.  
“Don’t be silly, Kana-yah. I never said or did anything of that sort.”  
Jeez. How I wish I could smack him right now through the screen.  
“I can’t accept something as precious as this...”  
What was inside the box was a music album, but it wasn’t just any music album. _It was **BTS** ’ album._ And it was a signed one for crying out loud. I don’t even consider myself a big fan of theirs, but even I could tell how much this would be worth... no, there’s no proper price to put in something as _valuable_ as this.  
“ _Daebak_ , how did that guy even manage to get your address there in Paris huh?”  
I was ready to glare at him on the webcam when I was taken aback the moment,  
“Hmm?”  
A sticky note then fell off from inside the album. Picking it up, I then unknowingly read what was written on it,  
 _Q: Taehyung-oppa, if you can turn back time, would you have changed anything?_  
 _A: I wouldn’t have changed anything about my life, but... I would take back the day I didn’t tell that one girl “ **I love you** ” properly for the last time._  
Without even realizing it, tiny tears formed around the corner of my eyes. Turning the sticky note, there was another thing written on the back part.  
 _“Until we meet again in another season, Kana-ssi.”_  
Teardrops then started dripping down on the sticky note that I had to wipe them quickly.  
“Kim Taehyung, you really...”  
While I was busy being lost in my sudden burst of nostalgic feelings, I had to get myself together the moment the doorbell to my apartment started ringing.  
“Hey Kana-yah, aren’t you going to get that?”  
“A-Ah, yeah. Excuse me for now, oppa.”  
As I made my way to get the door, I didn’t even notice my cousin’s relieved smile on the screen before he logged off and said lastly,  
“Fighting my dear dongsaeng.”

 _*ding dong*_  
“Yes, yes. I’m coming.”  
The very second I opened the door, I could only cover my mouth with both of my hands trying to stop myself from yelling in shock of the very silhouette that was now standing by my very doorstep.  
 _*thump*_  
Those familiar looking brown eyes, his previous brown hair was now dyed to a natural black color. Same ear piercings. Same childish grin like the _Cheshire Cat_. The man looked different, but for some reason, he was still the same man at the back of my memories.  
“Kana-yah,”

_And from that moment on, it wasn’t such a cruel summer anymore._

**_End._**  
***  
 ~~ _finished: 05/14/2020_~~


	2. Treacherous ~Kim Taehyung’s Cruel Summer POV~

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And all we are is skin and bone, trained to get along.  
> Forever going with the flow, but you’re friction.”  
> — Taylor Swift (2012)
> 
> Kim Taehyung’s POV for Cruel Summer

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! :)
> 
> Kaila here again.
> 
> Hope you enjoy reading Kim Taehyung’s POV this time. Taehyung’s POV took some time to write since his POV had to answer some unanswered questions from the previous one. Some conversations from the previous POV may have been excluded for non-redundancy purpose of course. ^^
> 
> to those who are unfamiliar with my writing style, those highlighted with ‘’ reflect the character’s inner thoughts he/she was meant to say out loud but ended up not saying aloud in the end. I had been writing in that style since I was in high school, so changing styles will be a difficult move for me for now. Please understand :)
> 
> on with the story! ^^
> 
> Playlist for the story:  
> \- Cruel Summer (Taylor Swift)  
> \- Treacherous (Taylor Swift)  
> \- Jamais Vu (BTS)  
> \- Where you at (LOONA)
> 
> link: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/6Ai0XcPcHykvBr0hPyKAti?si=g_p9qvCGRrajRvdS0Z_92g

**Prologue** :

 _Years ago, around early summer in my second year of middle school:_  
“Hyung, are you here?”  
“I’ll be right there Taehyung-ah!”  
I remember my school memories so vividly, it was as if they just happened yesterday although many years have already passed since then. I would spend it together with my hyung I grew close to during my freshman year of middle school and his friends.  
“Okay, I’ll wait for you downstairs then.”  
“There’s ice cream in the fridge, help yourself to it!”  
“Thank you hyung!”  
Running towards the kitchen, I opened the fridge and grabbed one of the strawberry flavored popsicles.  
“A-Ah, don’t close the fridge...!”  
As I was about to close the fridge, my hand was then put to a stop as soon as I felt a girl’s hand land straight on my arm.  
“?”  
“Thank goodness,”  
Turning around, I could only blink like an idiot at the very figure that just smiled at me in relief. She was no other than Kana, hyung’s close cousin who lives near here.  
“Ah Kana-ssi,”  
“You’re Kim Taehyung-ssi right? Oppa talks about you a lot.”  
That hyung and his big mouth.  
“I hope he doesn’t talk about embarrassing things though?”  
She just playfully chuckled at me while grabbing another popsicle in the fridge before closing it.  
“No, never.”  
This wasn’t the first time I’ve known Kana. Not only was she the same age as I am, but I frequently see her after school even when she goes to a different middle school than hyung and I. Even during the weekends, she’d always pop up where we were although I had no guts to talk to her. This time however, it felt like fate that it was just the two of us.  
“Um Kana-ssi?”  
“Hmm?”  
As she looked at me seriously with those round, brown eyes of hers, I didn’t understand why I felt so nervous around her. But lately, whenever she was around, I would catch myself glancing her way from time to time.  
“Do you want to come with us to the arcade? Hyung and I are going there in a few,”  
She just shook her head without hesitating and told me,  
“Sorry Taehyung-ssi, I have summer cram school a few hours from now. Thanks for inviting me though.”  
When the conversation went to a dead end, hyung finally came inside the kitchen just in time saying,  
“Oh, the two of you are here then! Kana-yah, what are you still doing here? Don’t you have cram school or something?”  
She just threw her popsicle stick and other trash in the garbage bin before giving hyung a quick hug saying while running out of the kitchen with a wave,  
“Fine, fine. I’m going already jeez! You two have fun in my place. Nice to see you again, Taehyung-ssi, take care of my idiotic cousin for me okay?”  
“Hey!”  
“I will, Kana-ssi.”  
And before we knew it, the main door opened and closed signaling she was already gone.  
“That Kana-yah sometimes... I don’t even understand why she chose to go to cram school in the start of summer.”  
“Hmm... maybe I should go to cram school too hyung?”  
Hyung just looked at me confused and in disbelief of what just came out of my mouth.  
“Taehyung-ah, are you kidding me? Did Kana-yah say anything weird to you when I wasn’t around?”  
I wondered why I had said something like that just now.  
 _‘Weird... I’m not interested in cram school and all but why did the thought of seeing Kana-ssi made me almost jump head on?’_  
“A-Ah, it isn’t like that hyung.”  
He then looked at me with a slightly menacing grin written all over his face and asked,  
“Ho~ don’t tell me you like Kana-yah then?!”  
 _*thump*_  
I almost choked on the last part of my ice cream at his pestering remark.  
“H-Hey hyung! Quit it...!”  
“Don’t even bother with it, Taehyung-ah. Kana-yah may seem smiley and everything, but she has never had a crush.”  
I was baffled at what hyung had said.  
“What do you mean hyung?”  
“Let’s just say Kana-yah is the type of girl who’s smart and all but she has absolutely zero clue about love and guys.”  
Really?  
“Maybe she hasn’t found the right guy for her then, hyung?”  
He then thought to himself for a short while before he came back to reality saying,  
“Hmm... now that you mention it, you may have a point. I wonder what kind of guy she’d fall for though?”  
Hyung’s question then lingered inside my thoughts for the rest of the afternoon.  
 _‘What kind of guy she’d fall for though?’_  
“Why am I suddenly curious about her?”  
I asked myself strangely and once I finally confessed to myself, as time went on, there could only be one explanation.

I liked her. I liked my hyung’s cousin. I liked Kana-ssi. But that was a _secret_ I was willing to keep for the rest of my life.

Before I even knew it, two years passed and I never saw her again.

Yet, the story was only just beginning from that point on.  
***  
 ** _Summer of 2019, Seoul:_**

“What are you guys planning to do this break?”  
Hoseok hyung’s voice echoed throughout the room after we rested together finishing up our last schedule before our 3-weeks break starts tomorrow.  
“Hmm, I’m going to go on a museum hopping.”  
That is so like Namjoon hyung. Seokjin hyung also inserted,  
“I’m going to binge sleep, video games, and sleep again.”  
I like how hyung thinks. Everyone’s stare then turned to one man who was busy watching something on his phone in silence again.  
“Why are you guys looking at me again? Of course I’ll sleep too, and experiment with new music at the studio of course.”  
Yoongi hyung doesn’t know what ‘rest’ means sometimes. I then turned to my fellow maknae liners asking,  
“How about you Jimin-ah, Jungkook-ah?”  
The two of them just passed shrugs at each other and said,  
“I’m going to travel and visit my family and friends back in Busan.”  
“Same with Jimin hyung.”  
I just sighed at Jungkook’s usual casual reply.  
“You really should decide for yourself sometimes, Kook.”  
Namjoon hyung then turned to Hoseok hyung asking,  
“How about you Hope-ah? Do you have any plans?”  
“Me? I’m going to visit my sister and catch up with some old friends too.”  
Looks like everyone had plans for the rest of the weeks ahead before rehearsals for the tour starts and we spend another long set of months traveling all over the world for our upcoming tour.  
“Taehyung-ah, how about you?”  
Hoseok hyung then asked me on cue. The rest of the guys then followed their gazes directed at me of course.  
“Hmm... I’m still deciding whether I should just stay at our dorm or go back home.”  
Seokjin hyung then followed up with a chuckle,  
“Don’t tell us you’re still hung up over that silly media article about you and TWICE’s maknae?”  
I just gulped nervously at where the conversation suddenly took a turn. Namjoon hyung just said and gave me a reassuring pat on the back,  
“Taehyung-ah, the guys and I know the truth already. Don’t worry too much about the article, it’ll die down. It always has, just be more watchful next time.”  
I nodded at what hyung had to say. With me being on the top line of the trends at the moment because of a silly mistake, I had to keep a low profile in the meantime. Right then and there,  
 _*beep*_  
“Hmm?”  
My phone screen lit up the moment I received a message. It was someone I was close to in my personal life. A close hyung of mine back in middle school.  
 _Hyung: Taehyung-ah, how’s your schedule? Are you planning to come visit Daegu? Message me back if you aren’t busy._  
It looks like my 3 weeks was about to be filled up in an instant with just one message.  
“Hyungs, Jimin-ah, Jungkook-ah, looks like I’ll be heading to Daegu starting tomorrow.”  
They all exchanged relieved looks with each other as Yoongi hyung then told me,  
“Just don’t do anything reckless while you’re there, got it?”  
I really thought he was going to say he was coming home with me since he’s from the same town and all, but yeah this is Yoongi hyung we’re talking about.  
“Got it hyung. Don’t worry about me.”  
Namjoon and Hoseok hyung then said lastly with a sigh,  
“Taehyung-ah, don’t say that.”  
“Or else we’re going to end up more worried than we should.”  
I just rolled my eyes at their overprotective comments here and there and grabbed my phone. I typed a reply back to hyung saying,  
 _Taehyung: I’ll come by tomorrow, hyung. See you._

This 3-weeks summer break was going to be something else. But, I didn’t even realize the surprises I’d be sticking myself into by tomorrow.

—  
 _ **The next day...  
Daegu:**_

It was earlier than expected when I arrived. Dropping off my things at home, I greeted my parents and younger siblings before heading for hyung’s place.  
“Hyung? Are you home?”  
Knocking on the front door, there was no answer at first. However, no matter how many times I tried knocking, I was only replied with silence.  
“Damn it hyung, I can’t believe I came here so early and you’re nowhere to be found.”  
I really thought he was at home because his car is still parked here, but where could he be?  
 _*ring* *ring*_  
And right on cue.  
“Hyung? Where are you?”  
“Oh Taehyung-ah! You’re finally back? Sorry, sorry I forgot to tell you I’m going somewhere early for now.”  
With a sigh, I just told him as I was deciding whether I should just head home for now or not,  
“You haven’t changed at all really hyung.”  
“Aw, that feels like a compliment coming from you! The keys are hidden by the usual place Taehyung-ah, feel free to sleep on my bed if you want to!”  
Suddenly feeling sorry about misleading me to come here this early, I just took up his offer since I found it a bit tiring to go back after I just got here.  
“I hope you bring me back something to eat from that cafe I missed when you come back, hyung.”  
He just laughed on the other line saying,  
“Of course! I have to get going now, I’ll text you once I’m heading back okay?”  
“Sure hyung.”  
 _*beep*_  
Right after the call ended, I grabbed the house keys from the potted plant hanging by the front door and came inside the nostalgic place I had missed.  
 _‘Can’t believe hyung still hides his keys on that potted plant after all this time... he’s really something else...’_  
I mumbled inside my head before taking off my shoes and took his indoor slippers.  
“It’s funny how hyung too is a neat freak just like Hoseok hyung... even the way they arrange the slippers and shoes on the rack look so identical.”  
Heading straight for the kitchen, I grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.  
“Same old hyung...”  
All of the food in the fridge had name labels and nutritional information. When did he become this health conscious?!  
“I don’t have enough energy for this right now...”  
Feeling my exhaustion hitting max already, I headed straight towards the living room like a sluggish zombie.  
“Hmm?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
But my feet immediately stopped, not to mention, my breathing almost halted the moment I stared at one photo hanging on the wall.  
“S-She’s...”  
It was a photo of hyung with his cousin at her graduation. The woman was no other than Kana herself. She was smiling so widely while holding the bouquet of _daisies_ in her arms. Hyung was doing the V sign right beside her and held onto her diploma with his other hand.  
“Kana-ssi...”  
Just by looking at her smile, all of the memories I have been hiding at the back of my head came running through my head in a snap.  
 _*thump*_  
 _“Taehyung-ssi?”_  
Even the simple way she called my name echoed in the silence along with the clock’s ticking.  
“Why am I thinking about her now?”  
When Kana moved to Seoul with her parents after graduating middle school, I’ve never heard from her again. Not to mention, I didn’t have the guts to ask hyung about her and things changed so much when I got signed to BigHit a few years after.  
 _‘And this is why unrequited love you thought you’ve gotten over your hyung’s cousin all these years is never the solution...’_  
I thought to myself like an idiot before I finally plopped down on the sofa in exhaustion without the trace of that one girl’s smile disappearing even in my sleep.

A few hours later...

 _*ring* *ring*_  
I don’t know how long I was out cold but the second my phone started ringing like crazy, I hurriedly picked it up.  
“H-Hello?”  
Rubbing my eyes as I answered, I was about to look at the clock to see what time it was until,  
“Hey! Kim Taehyung! Did you fall asleep huh?”  
Groaning at the loudness of hyung’s voice on the phone, I just scratched the back of my head telling him,  
“Weren’t you the one who told me I could sleep when I came here hours ago?”  
“Ah, right... but that’s not important right now!”  
Hyung’s voice sounded so panicked on the other line. I wonder if something happened?  
“Hyung, did something happen? Why do you sound so panicky?”  
With a loud sigh, he then asked,  
“Taehyung-ah, can you do your hyung a big favor right now?”  
Stretching my other arm that wasn’t holding the phone, I told him,  
“That depends on what you ask.”  
“Taehyung-ah, I’ll buy you your favorite homemade burger and pancakes at the cafe when I come home in a while.”  
He knew me so well even after all this time.  
“Deal. So, what’s the favor?”  
“Take my car and pick up someone from the station for me right now.”  
Blinking at what he had just said as I was fully awake now, I was quite surprised by the simple favor.  
“Sure, I don’t mind. Should I go now?”  
“Yes you should. The train could arrive in a while and I’ve already told my precious guest there would be someone else to pick her up in my stead.”  
When I heard him mention _‘her’_ , I sighed thinking before saying,  
 _‘Don’t tell me this girl is one of his many summer flings again?’_  
“Fine. I’ll get going then,”  
“Thanks Taehyung-ah!”  
 _*beep*_  
After hanging up the call, I went to the bathroom to fix myself up a little since my bed hair decided to pay a little visit at the moment. I can’t believe I fell asleep that long but it’s been a while since I’ve slept that relaxed. Grabbing his car keys in the living room, I locked the front door and went in his car.  
“Uwah, how does he make the car smell like it’s damn brand new even now?”  
I asked myself in awe as I started up the car’s engine and drove out of the peaceful driveway.

_Moments later..._

Right after I parked the car, I headed straight for the station. I looked around for hyung’s precious guest but I completely forgot about one important thing.  
“Shit. I forgot to ask him what she looks like.”  
I dialed his number but it connected me straight to his voicemail, he must be talking to the person I’m supposed to fetch now on the phone. I continued walking along and right then and there,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“T-That side profile...”  
 _‘It couldn’t be right?’_  
I don’t know if I was starting to see things or not but I let her voice echo in my ears as she was talking to someone on her phone,  
“Yeah, I did just now. Who did you say was going to fetch me instead of you?”  
It all made sense now. The very person who was now standing at a distance from me was no other than the woman in hyung’s photo in the living room. The very girl I swore I would keep at the back of my memories and thought I would never see again.  
“It’s me.”  
That was the only thing I could manage to say before she turned around to face me. Her face looked so surprised to see me. I can’t let her see me getting nervous. I could hear hyung’s voice coming from her phone. It took her a few more seconds to snap out.  
“Y-Yeah.”  
She said in a stutter. When he then asked if we managed to find each other, I immediately cut her off saying,  
“Don’t worry. I found her already!”  
She just stared at me in disbelief. Not to mention, her mood became even more obvious when hyung hanged up the call on her. I was still deep in thoughts if it was really her or not in front of me.  
 _‘She does look like the woman in hyung’s photo and all, but who knew all these years of not seeing her can change a lot huh?’_  
Well, I wouldn’t expect her to be so happy to see me since the last time we saw each other, we may or may not have ended in a sour note. I just crossed my arms and asked her,  
“So? Are you going to pretend you don’t know me Kana-ssi?”  
We just continued to stare at each other, observing each other’s next reaction. She might have changed, but I also have changed all these years. But... when those round, brown eyes of hers are staring at me like that, I had to get a grip of myself because as much as I want to tell her I’m glad to see her, it wasn’t that easy to say at all.  
 _‘Hyung really needs to tell me important things like this sometimes...’_  
Yet, I was the bigger fool since I didn’t even bother to ask him who I was fetching for him right now. Kana just crossed her arms as if mimicking me and said,  
“Obviously I want to Taehyung-ssi, but isn’t that hard since you’re practically known by everyone right now?”  
She was straight-forward and honest, or she’s simply just blunt now. I couldn’t help but chuckle at her reaction as I took her trolley while she was too busy shooting daggers at me.  
“Whatever you say then. Come on, I’ll take you to him now before you burn a hole to my face if you keep glaring at me like that.”  
“H-Hey!”  
Taking off with her trolley and following with her footsteps from behind me, it looks like my short summer break is going to be a _treacherous_ one.

_Years ago, 2nd year of middle school:_

“Hyung, are you here?”  
“I’ll be right there Taehyung-ah!”  
I remember my school memories so vividly, it was as if they just happened yesterday although many years have already passed since then. I would spend it together with my hyung I grew close to during my freshman year of middle school and his friends.  
“Okay, I’ll wait for you downstairs then.”  
“There’s ice cream in the fridge, help yourself to it!”  
“Thank you hyung!”  
Running towards the kitchen, I opened the fridge and grabbed one of the strawberry flavored popsicles.  
“A-Ah, don’t close the fridge...!”  
As I was about to close the fridge, my hand was then put to a stop as soon as I felt a girl’s hand land straight on my arm.  
“?”  
“Thank goodness,”  
Turning around, I could only blink like an idiot at the very figure that just smiled at me in relief. She was no other than Kana, hyung’s close cousin who lives near here.  
“Ah Kana-ssi,”  
“You’re Kim Taehyung-ssi right? Oppa talks about you a lot.”  
That hyung and his big mouth.  
“I hope he doesn’t talk about embarrassing things though?”  
She just playfully chuckled at me while grabbing another popsicle in the fridge before closing it.  
“No, never.”  
This wasn’t the first time I’ve known Kana. Not only was she the same age as I am, but I frequently see her after school even when she goes to a different middle school than hyung and I. Even during the weekends, she’d always pop up where we were although I had no guts to talk to her. This time however, it felt like fate that it was just the two of us.  
“Um Kana-ssi?”  
“Hmm?”  
As she looked at me seriously with those round, brown eyes of hers, I didn’t understand why I felt so nervous around her. But lately, whenever she was around, I would catch myself glancing her way from time to time.  
“Do you want to come with us to the arcade? Hyung and I are going there in a few,”  
She just shook her head without hesitating and told me,  
“Sorry Taehyung-ssi, I have summer cram school a few hours from now. Thanks for inviting me though.”  
When the conversation went to a dead end, hyung finally came inside the kitchen just in time saying,  
“Oh, the two of you are here then! Kana-yah, what are you still doing here? Don’t you have cram school or something?”  
She just threw her popsicle stick and other trash in the garbage bin before giving hyung a quick hug saying while running out of the kitchen with a wave,  
“Fine, fine. I’m going already jeez! You two have fun in my place. Nice to see you again, Taehyung-ssi, take care of my idiotic cousin for me okay?”  
“Hey!”  
“I will, Kana-ssi.”  
And before we knew it, the main door opened and closed signaling she was already gone.  
“That Kana-yah sometimes... I don’t even understand why she chose to go to cram school in the start of summer.”  
“Hmm... maybe I should go to cram school too hyung?”  
Hyung just looked at me confused and in disbelief of what just came out of my mouth.  
“Taehyung-ah, are you kidding me? Did Kana-yah say anything weird to you when I wasn’t around?”  
I wondered why I had said something like that just now.  
 _‘Weird... I’m not interested in cram school and all but why did the thought of seeing Kana-ssi made me almost jump head on?’_  
“A-Ah, it isn’t like that hyung.”  
He then looked at me with a slightly menacing grin written all over his face and asked,  
“Ho~ don’t tell me you like Kana-yah then?!”  
 _*thump*_  
I almost choked on the last part of my ice cream at his pestering remark.  
“H-Hey hyung! Quit it...!”  
“Don’t even bother with it, Taehyung-ah. Kana-yah may seem smiley and everything, but she has never had a crush.”  
I was baffled at what hyung had said.  
“What do you mean hyung?”  
“Let’s just say Kana-yah is the type of girl who’s smart and all but she has absolutely zero clue about love and guys.”  
Really?  
“Maybe she hasn’t found the right guy for her then, hyung?”  
He then thought to himself for a short while before he came back to reality saying,  
“Hmm... now that you mention it, you may have a point. I wonder what kind of guy she’d fall for though?”  
Hyung’s question then lingered inside my thoughts for the rest of the afternoon.  
 _‘What kind of guy she’d fall for though?’_  
“Why am I suddenly curious about her?”

“Taehyung-ah, are you sure you’re just curious about Kana-yah simply? Or are you just too shy to admit to me that you like her?”  
I remember the rest of that memory very clearly. The very memory where I ended things foolishly before it could even start.  
“That’s not it hyung. I can’t look at her that way, she’s your cousin and all.”  
“So? What’s wrong with that?”  
Like the child that I was, I then said without hesitation,  
“If I’m going to like a girl, I certainly won’t be interested in someone like her hyung.”  
“ _Pabo_.”  
The two of us were talking like that loudly that we were both shocked the moment,  
“You two are still here?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“?!”  
“Kana-yah? Didn’t you just leave?”  
My chest started to pound in pure nervousness. Did she happen to hear anything? I really thought she had left already since we heard the door close a little while ago.  
“Yeah, I did. But I came back since I forgot one of my reference books, why do you both look like you’re about to sweat buckets?”  
She asked while glancing at the two of us, mostly at me. I prayed so much that she would say she didn’t hear anything I had said just now.  
“Did you hear our conversation just now Kana-yah?”  
Hyung really is gutsy for asking her straightforward like that. She tilted her head and said,  
“Not really? Was I supposed to?”  
Both hyung and I looked at each other in relief as I said,  
“No. Thank goodness you didn’t hear anything then,”  
“Okay? Well, I’ll take my leave now again. Sorry if I disturbed anything,”  
After she grabbed her book from the coffee table, she waved goodbye to us before making her way out the door.

Little did I know that she had already been standing by the corner before entering the living room as hyung and I were having that conversation. She made up that little white lie to save our faces and save her pride as well. We never saw each other _eye-to-eye_ right after that.

While on the drive back to hyung’s house, it had been quiet since we left the station. With that certain flashback lingering inside my head, I could understand why she wouldn’t want to see me at the moment. But, if this is my payment for what happened all those years ago, so be it.  
“If you have something to say, you can say it. Your stare is really hard not to notice, you know.”  
Since I noticed her staring, I had to tell her that.  
“I was just not expecting at all to find a famous person like yourself here at Daegu right now. Not to mention, be the one to pick me up from the station too.”  
Should I answer her as an idol? Or the jerky Kim Taehyung from her memories?  
“You do realize I’m from Daegu too right? Adding to that, I was the one more surprised to see you back here.”  
She looked at me confused.  
“What? Didn’t oppa tell you that I was the one who you were to pick up from the station?”  
Of course I didn’t know. Heck, I’m just as surprised myself. I would’ve made up any kind of alibi if I knew it was going to be her at the station.  
“No. He didn’t. He just told me to pick up someone from the station because he was too busy to do it himself.”  
“And you didn’t even ask him who it was?!”  
Yep, she was annoyed by my simple presence. I just told her sarcastically,  
“I wouldn’t be having this weird conversation with you if I knew, would I?”  
“Whatever.”  
Rolling her eyes at me, it was clear as daylight that she’s treating me as normally as she could. If it was another girl right now who knew me, they would be treating me like a prince or something, but yeah. Kana was indeed different.

The rest of the ride became silent again as we both didn’t want to engage in any more conversations for now without it ending up in a squabble.

When we finally reached hyung’s house, the two of them exchanged hugs as greetings. I playfully joked around and hugged him too since he owed me an explanation and my favorite foods.  
“Hyung, we need to talk later.”  
“Uh oh, am I in trouble?”  
As he then asked Kana to change clothes right after he drops the news he was going to throw us a party a few hours from now, I then told him head on,  
“Hyung, you really could’ve mentioned that it was Kana-ssi who was going to come.”  
“But you never asked me though?”  
Well he had a point, but still.  
“Hyung, you know we’re still awkward with each other. Even if years had already passed, it’s clear to me that she wants nothing to do with me.”  
He just gave me a sigh while crossing his arms.  
“Taehyung-ah, do you still feel guilty over what happened back in middle school?”  
“I guess?”  
Patting me on both of my shoulder, he then said to me with a reassuring smile,  
“Then try to become friends with her while she’s here at Daegu. That way, you two won’t just be stuck with clumsy looking stares and deafening silence the whole time.”  
I nodded as he then handed over the paper bag that had the name of that cafe which had all of my favorite food.  
“Hyung...”  
“I did trouble you so here’s your reward.”  
The two of us continued to exchange passing conversations before Kana finally came down and we all went our way.

Yet, it was no use on what hyung had to tell me back at the house. Because as soon as I opened my mouth, Kana retorted back at me with a snap. And before we knew it, our banters turned to those from elementary school kids.  
 _‘Hyung, I’m sorry.’_  
Whenever Kana is involved, I had to keep up my act of being the cold idol in front of her because if I don’t,  
 _‘I might end up luring myself into a dangerous and treacherous slope which has her name written all over it.’_

 _A bit later..._  
“So, how’s it like being one of the top artists in the world now huh?”  
“The seven of you came so far, Taehyung-ah. My little sister can’t stop talking about you guys all the time!”  
The small party consisted of hyung’s friends who were also my friends, and even my same-aged friends too from elementary and middle school. How did he even manage the time to hide and prepare this event?  
 _‘Uwah, hyung is really a social butterfly back then and it’s even more obvious now.’_  
I thought in slight amazement before I snapped back to reality and to the conversations with my friends.

“But who would’ve thought we would see Kana-ssi tonight too?”  
“Yeah, she’s a full-on Seoul gal now. Taehyung-ah, did you know she graduated from Seoul University too?”  
She did? Wow, now that they mention it, I did see the name of the university in the photo that was in hyung’s living room.  
“Is that so? Daebak.”  
“She’s been accomplishing so much once she had moved to Seoul.”  
“Or so as her cousin had said.”  
My gaze then couldn’t help but drift towards one woman. She was also busy talking to hyung’s circle of friends, although for some reason...  
 _‘Why does it look like she wants to leave the party?’_

I don’t know why I asked her to ditch the party with me.  
I don’t know why I had the courage to even hold her hand at that point.  
I don’t know why I told myself I’ll stay away from her as much as possible but didn’t.

Maybe I was losing it, but yes for some crazy reason, the moment my hand fits in hers, _nothing safe was worth the drive_.

***  
I took her to the cafe that was a little secret place for hyung and I every time I come here in Daegu. Both of us knew the owner for different reasons. I’m not even surprised why he also happens to know the owner.  
“Ah, I can’t wait to finally eat the crepe cake again.”  
“Taehyung-ssi?”  
When I finished ordering the menu I wanted, Kana and I almost fell to another set of banter especially when she started worrying if somebody would recognize me and if we should split the bill.  
 _‘Is she that worried that the paparazzi would come and mob me at a place like this?’_  
Well, I understood her reservations all too well. But I have never felt unsafe in the years I’ve been coming here. After she found a table for us and I brought our order to the table, I just said a short prayer before finally digging in to my cake and lemonade.  
“Ah finally, desserts are the best.”  
“...”  
She stayed a bit quiet across from my seat and kept on staring blankly at the cake and drink that was in front of her. I then asked her of course if there was anything wrong and she honestly said,  
“I’m just wondering... about back there at the cashier...”  
“Ah, I knew it.”  
Don’t tell me this was about what I said at the cashier? I knew I had to reassure her that all of the staff here in the cafe already knew me being a frequent customer and all even with my idol status.  
“Oh, I see.”  
Listening to what I had to tell her, I then explained to her that I happen to know the owner of the place. Kana just grinned at how she may have thought about that too since she saw my signature framed by the corner of the cashier too.  
 _‘She’s pretty perceptive huh?’_  
My mind then came to a passing realization. I also told her that she shouldn’t worry so much because no one could see us from the outside since the glass windows in the cafe are reflective and this cafe didn’t have so much customers around this time.

The two of us continued to eat in silence as the sounds of our plates and glasses were the only ones we could hear. However, it felt less uncomfortable to be together in the same room. And because of that, a bit of my confidence then came out asking,  
“So, what are you doing back in Daegu after all these years?”  
She just looked at me baffled of my out of the blue question. Was that too personal?  
“Don’t answer it if you don’t want to.”  
I then inserted as she then told me that it was her last summer right before her new job starts in the fall and she had decided to spend it with hyung here in Daegu. Since it was her first time to come back here ever since she moved to Seoul, Kana said she wanted to make worthwhile memories while she was here.  
 _‘Worthwhile memories?’_  
I then recalled what hyung had told me this afternoon.  
 _“What if you try to become friends with Kana-yah while she’s here?”_  
Friends huh? Do I really want to become just friends with the woman sitting across from me? With my past feelings resurfacing every time I just look at her, I didn’t want that answer for now.  
“Friends only?”  
“Huh? Did you say something Taehyung-ssi?”  
As I accidentally blurted the words that were meant for my thoughts only, I just evaded the question as I then asked Kana to take out her phone. Before I knew it, I baited her with a sudden selca between the two of us.  
“What was that about?!”  
She exclaimed in surprise of what just happened. I couldn’t stop a chuckle from coming out because of her reaction. I then did something that was against of the reason why I should distance myself from her in the first place.  
“Taehyung-ssi, this is...”  
Something was definitely wrong with my line of thoughts every time she’s near. Why did I even leave my personal number on her phone the next moment? I would be just as stunned if she was the one who did it first.  
“I’m in.”  
Well I was already _out of focus_ when we’re staring _eye to eye_ , it’s too late to walk away now from the _quicksand_ that was her.  
“You’re in for what exactly?”  
I just gave her the best devilish grin I could do, and for me, I don’t know if that was still part of my act or not.  
“I’m in for giving you the best summer you’ll ever have here in Daegu.”

I know the path I just took was _reckless_ as hell, but _I liked it_ nevertheless. And that’s where the problems only started.

***  
 _The next day..._

When I finally got her out of the house early, I borrowed hyung’s car and drove us to a destination I had in mind.  
“I can’t believe you woke me up so early and you won’t even tell me where we’re going.”  
“Where’s the fun in that?”  
I told her as I glanced at her for a quick second before focusing my eyes on the road. She cursed at me with another question. It was at a stoplight that I could finally let out an amused laugh when she suddenly called me _‘handsome’_ , I felt like a kid who had just won a game.  
“Oh you think that way of me huh?”  
Before she could get flustered, she just snapped back at me that I was overconfident. I just told her I was pretty confident which had a big difference as the light turned to green.  
When our conversation went to how she might have thought I was joking around with her with what I had to say last night, I felt a slight twinge on my chest. Maybe hyung was right, if I wanted to fix this weird relationship of ours, I needed to do something.  
“I can’t tell the difference of what’s funny to you or not, Taehyung-ssi.”  
And with that, the rest of car ride echoed in silence.

**_Seomun Market, early morning:_ **

I took her to the Market early this morning because one, it was still this early so being noticed won’t be a problem, I hope; two, I wanted to visit the auntie that makes great _buchu-jeon_ too. Kana almost freaked out when she slipped up mentioning my name thinking that auntie would scream and cause a scene.  
“It’s good to see you again auntie.”  
“What? You know each other?”  
I told her that auntie was one of my mother’s friends so of course, she already knew me way before I even became an idol. It was normal playing the cool guy act but all of that crumbled the second auntie thought Kana and I were on a date. I hope she doesn’t use this to her advantage when we’re alone considering I’ve been teasing her so much.

After hopping from one stall to another, I had missed this feeling a little. Being able to walk around and just chat with the food owners in the market as if I was back to my non-idol life, the feeling felt nostalgic.  
“Look Taehyung-ssi! There are a lot of varieties of fish on that tank!”  
I hid a smile while following one woman who also was enjoying this market visit just as I was.  
“Slow down before you trip yourself like a little girl.”  
“Don’t worry about t—-?!”  
As if my words were coming to life, Kana almost slipped when she ran to a portion of the wet floor. I was about to run up to her and catch her but then,  
“Hey Kana-ssi...!”  
“Oops, almost embarrassed myself there.”  
She managed to steady herself back on her own two feet with a relieved smile taking over her lips. I just sighed as I caught up to her.  
“See? What did I just say?”  
“You don’t have to be worried about me. I can look after myself just fine, Taehyung-ssi.”  
The members’ voices then echoed my head because those words sounded exactly like what I had told them the other day. I guess saying that they didn’t have worry about me makes the other person just as worried.  
“You’re really like _friction_ huh, Kana-ssi...”

We were roaming the market for more than an hour when I suddenly noticed,  
 _‘Why did the amount of people around the place quickly increase?’_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
I was getting a slightly bad feeling of where the situation was heading. Turning to one woman beside me, she also noticed something was off as well judging from her facial expression.  
“Kana-ssi, I think we should get going.”  
“Ah, sure. Let’s go.”  
Taking her hand again unknowingly, we ran back to the car together. Yet, my anxiousness continued to grow even when we were finally alone.

I was driving like normally until my phone hadn’t stopped ringing for a while now. Even she had to point out that it might be important and I needed to answer it. And so I did.  
“I’ll park the car here for now.”  
“It’s fine, really.”  
Yet, the minute I looked at the caller ID, my fears were slowly coming true.  
 _‘Shit, it’s manager hyung. This isn’t ever a good sign.’_  
I cursed inside my head before I finally pressed answer.  
“Manager hyung?”  
“Kim Taehyung, where the heck are you right now?”  
Using my whole name too on the first sentence... I screwed up real bad this time. It looks like Kana was on her phone too pretending she wasn’t listening even if she was just sitting right beside me.  
“I’m in my hyung’s car right now, driving. Why? Is there something wrong?”  
I heard him sigh deeply from the other line before he then dropped the distressing news at me.  
“Were you at Seomun Market just now? The PR team had found media articles already writing about it.”  
Damn it. No wonder why I couldn’t shake that uneasy feeling I’ve been getting in the market a while ago. How did they even know I was there that early? This wasn’t anything new and all, but to think they even knew I was back here in Daegu.  
“Yeah hyung, I was there. I can’t believe they would even find me here.”  
But what worried me the most was his next question.  
“Were you with a woman at the market too?”  
“What?!”  
Ah shit. I couldn’t stop my voice from going loud that Kana turned to see my face go a bit pale.  
“So from your reaction, you were with someone then. There were around one to three articles that managed to get a photo of you together with her.”  
I’m used to the idea of my face being shown everywhere by now but the idea of someone from my personal life be involved in my idol life, that’s a whole another story.  
“Hyung, can you do something about this. Please? I don’t want her getting involved in this.”  
I heard another sigh coming from the other line. Just as I was troubled about this situation, I know manager hyung feels troubled too as well. Shit, the members and the label for sure are going to know about it too.  
“We’ll try to take down the articles that wrote about her as soon as possible, just... just don’t go anywhere crowded for the time being. Make sure she’s safe for now.”  
Biting my lip in frustration, I could only nod and listen to my manager hyung who I know has the best interests for me and the members for years now.  
“Okay hyung. Thanks again. Call me if anything happens.”

As soon as the call ended, Kana looked at me with a worried expression. I knew she wanted to ask but she stopped herself because she was considering if it was her place to ask or not. Starting up the car again, I just told her,  
“I’m taking you home for now, Kana-ssi.”  
Kana became confused of the reason why I said that out of the blue but she proceeded to ask me if I was in any danger or some sort. Did I really look that distressed?  
 _‘Maybe I do... especially it’s my fault that she could get entangled in this kind of situation.’_  
I thought pathetically to myself before I feigned a light laugh to her and said,  
“No, I’m okay Kana-ssi. I just need to deal with something important for now. Sorry,”  
A simple _‘sorry’_ wasn’t enough but the less she knows, the better. She didn’t press any more questions as I drove her back to hyung’s house.

After dropping Kana off, I drove out of the driveway again. I could still recall the quite concerned look she had when we said goodbye just now.  
“Shit, Taehyung you really threw yourself at _quicksand_. Of course, those media sneaks would’ve found me here at my hometown one way or another. But to think...”  
To think they would involve a normal woman like Kana herself, that fact was the very reason I’m stressing myself out at the moment. I don’t mind articles being written about me because this is the life I’ve signed up for, but her?  
 _“I can’t wait to start my new job this fall, I’ve been wanting to work with my new employer for a long time!”_  
I remembered her words so easily. Everything she seems to say whether it’s a joke, a banter, or a simple conversation, I can’t forget them no matter how much I try to shut her out of my head.  
“Damn, when I told her I’m in for giving her the most unforgettable summer of her life... I didn’t mean this.”  
Scratching my head in self-disappointment, I knew I couldn’t just sit here idly and wait for nothing. Parking the car again somewhere, I grabbed my phone and started dialing a few numbers.  
“I’m not **_THE_** Kim Taehyung for nothing.”

 _A long while later..._  
“Taehyung-ssi, we finally managed to track and take down those articles that had a photo of her and you.”  
“Thank you. That’s the only important thing.”  
I was on the phone for a while with the label’s PR Team, these guys were real life savers in a flash.  
“We’ll take down the articles too that have your photos alone too, Taehyung-ssi.”  
“I don’t mind if those won’t get taken down, the media needs to make money too.”  
“Are you sure?”  
After being an idol in this industry for quite a long time now, there’s always good press and bad press. The members and I have dealt with both since debut, so we were all used to it by now. But, for me, if it’s a media article about me, I wouldn’t mind since I’m the one who knows if whatever they’re writing is fake or true although when people in my personal life are involved, that’s where I draw the line.  
“As long as the other person who doesn’t deserve to be involved with those sneaky media people is safe, that’s all that matters to me.”  
“Okay Taehyung-ssi. We’ll keep you posted.”  
With the call ending, I was about to sigh in relief when,  
 _*ring* *ring*_  
“Ah shit, it’s Namjoon hyung.”  
Still hesitating whether I should answer or not, it looks like I had no choice of the matter at the moment.  
“Haaaa... let’s just get this over with.”  
I answered the call from **BTS’** leader on cue.  
“Hello?”  
“Hey Kim Taehyung!”  
And here we go, will I be in for another lecture too?  
“Namjoon hyung, if you’re going to give me another lecture...”  
“Are you okay?”  
I was a bit taken aback by his first question. Maybe cause I was expecting him to be angry with me, but this is Namjoon hyung we’re talking about. He may have passive aggressive tendencies, but overall he doesn’t get mad with us even before without us getting our chance to explain beforehand.  
“Y-Yeah hyung, I’m fine.”  
“Thank goodness then. Wait, the rest of the guys want to be on speaker phone too.”  
And yes, before I knew it, all the other members’ voices then echoed on the other line.  
“Hey Taehyung-ah! We heard everything from manager hyung!”  
“This is why you should never tell us not to worry about you, because look what happens.”  
Seokjin and Hoseok hyung’s voices took over. Not to mention,  
“Don’t sweat about it too much. The PR Team and our manager hyung had dealt with far worse with what just happened.”  
Yoongi hyung tried to reassure me. However, for my fellow maknae liners,  
“Hey Kim Taehyung, who was that woman with you though? You’ve never talked about her to me before?”  
“Yeah hyung! Don’t tell us she’s one of your secret love affairs?”  
Jimin and Jungkook’s imaginations were really running wild with those theories huh?  
“You have a lot of questions for someone who had to be scolded by the PR Team and manager hyung just now.”  
“What? Don’t tell me you called the PR Team?”  
Namjoon asked curiously. I had no reason to lie to him.  
“Yeah hyung, I told them to take down any of the articles that had gotten a glimpse of her and had a photo of her.”  
The other line turned silent for a few seconds before Hoseok hyung exclaimed,  
“Really?! Our Taehyung-ah really did that?!”  
Seokjin hyung seconded with a slightly teasing tone,  
“Ho~ even when you’re being the target of dating rumors with another idol, you just ignore it and let it be. But... to think you’d exert effort to take down articles about another woman from your hometown? Hmm...”  
Shit. Where is this conversation going? Luckily, Yoongi and Namjoon hyung said,  
“I bet Taehyung-ah was just trying to protect whoever that woman was.”  
“That was very responsible of you Kim Taehyung, we’re kind of surprised but nevertheless we’re proud of what you did.”  
Namjoon hyung really knew the right things to say all—wait, no most of the time.  
“I was just doing the right thing hyung... not to mention,”  
“Not to mention?”  
Taking a deep breath, I then told them with one woman’s face then taking over my inner thoughts.  
“I screwed up. I doubt she’d forgive me for getting her involved in my own idol problems. God, why did the media have to stick their noses to someone in my personal life?”  
I know they could tell the distress in my voice right then and there, but I’m suddenly wearing my heart on my sleeve.  
“Taehyung-ah, not to be a prying hyung and all, but care to tell us who was that woman with you?”  
Hoseok hyung asked with concern in his tone.  
“She’s my hyung’s cousin.”  
Yoongi hyung then asked,  
“Ah, the hyung you’re referring to is your close hyung from middle school right?”  
“Yeah.”  
Jimin and Jungkook then sighed saying,  
“Jeez, maybe I should find myself someone too when I go to Busan tomorrow.”  
“Yeah, is she a noona hyung?”  
And here we go. I need to cut this conversation short now.  
“Thanks for calling Namjoon hyung, but I think it’s time we should end this call.”  
“Ah, he’s running away.”  
“She must be someone important then.”  
Seokjin and Hoseok hyung teased. Should I just hang up the call right here, right now?  
“I’m hanging up,”  
Namjoon hyung and Jimin inserted before I almost dropped the call.  
“Hey Taehyung-ah! Not yet,”  
“We haven’t even asked the important question too!”  
Important question?  
“What important question?”  
Yoongi hyung then asked without hesitation,  
“Is she okay?”  
By _‘she’_ , he meant Kana obviously. My lips curled to a relieved smile telling them,  
“Yeah, she’s okay Yoongi hyung. I dropped her off at hyung’s house for a while now.”  
“Good.”  
Namjoon hyung then said to me,  
“Taehyung-ah, don’t blame yourself for what happened that was beyond your control. I’m sure that you just wanted her safe and all, but don’t go blaming yourself for the inevitable.”  
“Thank you hyung, really.”  
After a few more passing conversations with them especially since I thought they would have separated already since it’s our break and all, but talking with them set me at ease for a bit.

As soon as the call with the members ended, I decided to drive to a special place where I could be alone and cool off my thoughts for now.  
“How I wish this day would just be over already...”  
Not to mention, I still have no idea at all how I’m going to fix things with Kana.  
“Hyung is so going to lecture me too, I just know it.”

Parking the car near the familiar elementary school in my memories, I wanted to take a walk until I reached that place. I doubt any media sleaze would have followed me up to this very point.  
“It’s been a while since I’ve seen this place.”  
Near my elementary school, there was a riverbank that was special to me for some reason. It was kind of a secret place to me since I’m the only one who knows about it.  
“Uwah, the river is crystal clear and clean as ever.”  
No matter how many years passed by, the place was nostalgic and serene as ever. I just laid down by the grass beside the riverside and set my mind off limits to any negative thoughts at the moment. And then,  
 _*beep*_  
My phone beeped as soon as I received a new message. I then read it was from hyung himself.  
 _Hyung: Hey Taehyung-ah, where are you? Are you still with Kana-yah? I suddenly saw an article on the net about you being in Seomun market and mentioned that you were with a woman although there weren’t photos of her._  
Damn, even hyung now knows. But it looks like most the articles that had Kana’s photo were finally taken down at last.  
 _Taehyung: I’m not with Kana-ssi now hyung. I’m sorry if I can’t tell you anything but you don’t have to worry about it. I’ve taken care of things already especially for Kana-ssi’s safety._  
That was the only reply I sent to him even there were still other replies from him right after that. I just stared at the sky above me and said to myself,  
“It’s funny how I could care less what’s written about me but when it’s Kana-ssi who’s involved, I suddenly feel protective.”  
And it’s just as funny as that my feelings were getting more and more obvious. It was easy to keep up my act, but when she started to get worried about me back when she was sitting beside me in the car a while ago, my composure went to mush.  
“Shit, I’m starting to have feelings for her again. This is bad.”

I didn’t even notice that I just laid there deep in my thoughts all over again that hours easily passed and time went on.

—  
 _A few hours later..._

Before I knew it, the sky turned to a beautiful sunset orange color and as if the wind was carrying someone’s voice, I heard her voice calling out to my name.  
“Kim Taehyung-ssi...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
I don’t know if I was just starting to hear things or not, but the second I glance back at where the voice was coming from, my eyes couldn’t stop shaking at the silhouette I saw with my own two eyes.  
“K-Kana-ssi...”  
So many questions started popping up inside my head but the most important one was... how did she even manage to find me here?

Yet, as I was about to ask her, Kana started yelling at me for different reasons. For being a fool, for protecting her instead of protecting myself, for making her and even hyung worried. Everything she was saying made sense. I let her finish everything she wanted to say to me until she fell to tears out of the blue.  
“Kana-ssi...”  
“D-Don’t protect me when you can’t protect yourself, you fool... why do that to yourself?”  
I remembered hyung telling me that she was the independent type and all since she’s the only child in her family.  
 _“She doesn’t like relying on anyone Taehyung-ah ever since we were little kids. If she has problems, she’d never tell anyone and take care of it herself even if it means she’d get hurt along the way.”_  
“I don’t know myself, Kana-ssi.”  
Deep down, I knew the answer was right in front of me all along. But deep down, I didn’t want to admit it of course. To admit that I was falling in love with someone that shouldn’t have happened again.  
“Taehyung-ssi.”  
As much as she was protective of her happiness, I’m also protective of the people and things I care about as Kim Taehyung, the person. Not just as V, the idol.  
“But that’s just the way how I’ve done things before and even now, Kana-ssi.”  
We just stared at each other in silence under the orange colored sky along with the river’s water flow and the wind’s passing breezes as our witnesses.

The two of us sat on the grass a little while later after we had calmed down. She then apologized firsthand for losing her calm over what I did even though I should be the one apologizing to her in the first place.  
“Kana-ssi, you don’t have to apologize really... I should be the one d—-,”  
She immediately cut me off saying,  
“Don’t you dare apologize to me this time when you too have no fault on what happened. Got it?”  
I couldn’t help but nod and tell her a sincere _‘thank you’_ because just by coming here and finding me here and pouring her raw emotions at me, I just felt like we’ve definitely passed the awkward stage now in this odd relationship.  
“Thank you, Kana-ssi.”

After our time at the riverbank, she asked me if my agency and the members knew what happened and obviously I had no reason to hide it from her. I was also curious about one thing.  
“Kana-ssi, how did you even find me?”  
She was hesitant whether she should tell me or not, but in the end, she just told me,  
“Auntie from the Market told me.”  
Auntie really told her then? She mustn’t be making things up. And for sure, auntie wouldn’t tell her where I was if she didn’t trust her enough.  
“Auntie seemed to trust you so quickly huh Kana-ssi?”  
“I didn’t give her any reason to do so, but I’m just glad she got me to the right direction.”  
What did she mean the right direction?  
“Right direction?”  
She just nodded and said nonchalantly,  
“Right direction to where you were of course. What else would I mean?”  
 _*thump*_  
Shit. Although she may have meant that normally and with no context at all, to me, it caught me off guard that it even made my heart race for a short second.  
 _‘This woman really....’_  
She then started to talk about how that the members and I were just as close as we were for years now and for my part, it was getting harder to keep up my cool persona around her. Especially when I’m getting the feeling that she’s now gradually letting her walls down for me.  
 _‘She’s the only woman who’s crazy enough to run around town to find me even after she could’ve been exposed to the media.’_  
I sighed to myself with a slight smile that I just couldn’t help but look at her and walk up to her that it made her surprised. She asked me why I kept on staring at her in silence, I then asked her in all honesty if she would still let me keep due of my _promise_ to her.  
“Of course, but you have to promise me something in return.”  
I was the one who was surprised next by her sudden proposition. Who was I to say _‘no’_ since I was this close to breaking a promise that I suggested in the first place?  
“Deal, Kana-ssi.”  
I’ve already broken the most important _‘rule’_ already when it came to her, which is I wouldn’t let my old feelings be brought up again when I saw her at the station. Yet, look at where I am now.  
 _‘No matter what happens from here on, I’m going to stay by her side, whether she likes it or not.’_  
Because, it didn’t matter anymore if this was going to end blowing up in the end of these weeks, as long as she can have any memory of me, good or the bad, I’m willing to risk it.

“Don’t worry Taehyung-ssi, in case you don’t want to be get caught with me because you already have a special girl in your life, we can always compromise.”  
What is she suddenly blurting about?! Shocked was an understatement of what I felt that very moment. Where did she get that kind of idea?  
“You’re saying whatever nonsense again, Kana-ssi.”  
I couldn’t tell what was her face’s expression was when she had said that since she walked off from my side and was at a distance away from where I was now. Then having her tell me that she wouldn’t get in the way if ever I was interested in a fellow idol, not going to lie, it stung a little.  
 _‘Don’t tell me she has read those articles too about me being linked to that female idol?’_  
Of course I couldn’t ask her that without sounding so obvious that I was interested in her opinion or anything. Before I knew it, the only words I could let the wind carry in a whisper were,  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“You’re a fool for thinking I’m interested in someone else.”  
As if she heard a voice, she glanced back at me and asked if I had said anything. I was glad that she didn’t catch on to that right now. But I couldn’t deny that I was the bigger fool for continuing to keep this act up. Surely though, I wouldn’t ever admit that to her.  
“There’s no going back anymore.”

I said to myself while looking at the hopeful dusk sky as we walked home together ending uneventfully to an eventful filled day.

***  
Ever since that incident, the relationship between us turned comfortable in the blink of an eye. We still bantered like kids, but Kana wasn’t that snappy and had dagger-like stares back when she arrived anymore.

If my middle school self could see us now, he too wouldn’t even believe this kind of progress. Nevertheless, keeping up my just friends disposition around her proved to be getting more difficult as time passed by.

Especially when I had the tendencies to grab her hand unknowingly when we’re roaming around together.

“Taehyung-ssi, why do you keep refusing my suggestions huh?”  
Of course, our bickering started because I wanted to take her around places that were special to me and I didn’t want any prying eyes to disturb us. I’d get pissed when we have to catch ourselves running away from crowds that could recognize me.  
“Let’s just say I’m your tour guide now, that’s why you have to trust your guide. Don’t you think so?”  
“Fine... I won’t question you anymore.”  
As a man, I still had my pride to protect when it came to leading something, especially if the other party is someone I’m close to or want to get close to. Although... I may have an ulterior motive too by taking her to places I’m interested to go to.  
“That way if she happens to recall these places, she’ll remember that she came with me naturally.”  
“What?”  
I quickly changed the conversation but what I ended up blurting out was my pure honesty as Kim Taehyung the person, and not **_THE_** Kim Taehyung as an idol definitely.

However, the real test for the two of us, more like for myself, was only about to come.

***  
Kana never stopped convincing me to come to one of her suggested places that I couldn’t refuse her any longer. So I let her be.

And I found myself regretting it the day we went there together.  
“You’ve got to be kidding me...”  
I could only blink in disbelief of where she ended up taking me.  
“Let’s go Taehyung-ssi!”  
As much as I disliked the idea of the place, I need to man up and face it head on just like the members would tell me if they knew what was happening right now.

 _The 83 Tower_ is the highest tower here in Daegu. It wasn’t higher than the Namsan Tower in Seoul, but it was indeed **HIGH** like most towers. With my issue with heights, I had to not look at the dizzying view while we were at the viewing deck. Kana of course loved being up high.  
“Look Taehyung-ssi! We can see the whole view of Daegu from up here! I think this view is even more beautiful than the one from Namsan Tower.”  
Feigning my next replies to her, she immediately knew that something was definitely up with me. She wanted us to leave out of the blue so of course I stopped her. Yet, her explanation was nowhere as near as what I was expecting.  
“I just think it’s better we should leave before some tourists happen to recognize you?”  
Her distracted worries couldn’t stop me from letting out a laugh that it made her stare at me doubtfully. She asked me what was funny and all so I told her,  
“No, no. Sorry I couldn’t help it. I wondered what was occurring inside your head, but I guess you also made me worried for nothing.”  
“Ah, shut it.”  
Rolling her eyes again at me in frustration for avoiding the question, I apologized for laughing out of the blue. But it was kind of adorable how she was just simply looking out for me really, why did she even think that way when we’ve been spending so much time already in public places?  
 _‘Kana-ssi, you’re really...’_  
It looks like I’m no match for her this time around.  
“Kana-ssi, I will be honest with you but I’m not fond of high heights. There, satisfied?”  
“Oh, really?”  
Now it was her time to feel entertained at what she had just heard from my own mouth. She then stood up from where we were sitting and walked up to near where one of the observation telescope saying while focusing her gaze back at the skyscraper view,  
“You’re right. We all have our own little secrets. I guess that’s what makes us all human, including _**THE**_ Kim Taehyung himself.”  
As if courage suddenly took over my legs, I followed and walked up to her side even though I should be shaking now in anxiousness from being up this high.  
 _*thump*_  
“Kana-ssi, how about you? Do you have your own little secrets too?”  
She just gave me a soft giggle while not averting her gaze from the view still, although... for some reason her eyes saddened for a very short moment.  
“Yes, of course I have.”  
The two of us continued to look over the view as I was slowly adjusting my breathing from the height, Kana then took a deep breath in and out before she started talking about how in our positions now, it just makes her feel at ease because no matter how small or big her troubles are, her existence was just a small part for the big world in front of us.  
“Who knew you had that kind of deep thinking huh, Kana-ssi.”  
“I’m just being a realist, Taehyung-ssi.”  
I hadn’t noticed that even as time continued to pass, my nerves slowly relaxed even when I’m still up this high at the tower. Maybe it’s true what they say, you just need a little push from behind you to help you deal with your fears despite going at it step by step. Yet, as for me,  
 _‘My push came from not behind me, but from the woman standing right beside me.’_  
My lips turned to a reassured smile that I didn’t catch her smiling while glancing at my side profile.

After getting our fill with the whole viewing deck, we decided to go to the tower’s cafe to relax for a while.  
“Oh, I was right then! It’s indeed not taller than the Namsan Tower back in Seoul. Wow, the _Eiffel Tower_ even stands out in a display wall!”  
We happened to pass by a display wall with different prominent towers here in the nation and even abroad.  
“Taehyung-ssi, can you take a photo of me with the display wall? I can’t wait to send it to my mama!”  
Now that she had mentioned it, hyung told me Kana’s parents were vacationing abroad this summer, hence why she ended up going back to Daegu for these weeks.  
“Kana-ssi, is it okay if I ask you why didn’t you go with your parents to Europe too?”  
It took her a while before she could think of her response to my question.  
“I had to take care of my job’s final requirements and preparations. I just couldn’t force myself to fit everything in my schedule. And...”  
“And?”  
She sighed into the distance and continued.  
“I didn’t want to disturb my parents’ once in a blue moon vacation time. We’ll still see each other soon right after my summer is over.”  
“Right...”  
Well, she had a point. But why did it feel like there was something more to what she had said just now? Deciding to ignore that, the two of us continued to talk about the places and countries we’ve traveled and seen.

As we we’re already at the cafe, everything was going fine until I felt a bit dizzy since sitting down and I noticed that we were sitting right beside the glass window which could give you a beautiful clear view of the tower in another view. However...  
“Okay, but sitting down doesn’t help at all.”  
While I was trying to pacify myself, of course Kana obviously noticed me fumbling to my phone in distraction of what I was currently feeling. She asked me on cue if something was wrong and I told her nothing as naturally as I could.  
“Oh, is that so huh?”  
Kana’s next mood instantly changed as if she understood something that I was hiding from her. I could only blink and flinch a little when she then stood up from her seat and excused herself before exiting the scene.  
 _*thump*_  
“Shit. Did I say something insensitive again?”  
I bit one of my nails as my nerves seized its chance to get to me.

“Here you go, I hope you don’t mind.”  
Before I knew it, there was a cup of piping hot tea and a bottle of water placed in front of the table I was sitting. Looking up at the familiar voice, Kana just gave me a warm smile while explaining what was the content of the tea.  
“Peppermint?”  
“Uh huh. It’ll help with the nerves you’re feeling. Especially if you’re feeling bothered by something too. I’m sorry for not noticing that you’re just slowly getting used to this high place.”  
I really had thought Kana would have walked out from our conversation just now because of how I acted, but as it turns out, she was just gone for a short while because she went to buy me tea and water.  
“Thank you, Kana-ssi.”  
She nodded with a comfortable smile before sitting down across from my seat again. As I started taking one sip from another at the tea she ordered, it really was indeed soothing just like what she had said.  
“You’re welcome, hope it does the trick.”  
If she had ordered coffee, I would have refused outright since I don’t drink coffee. If she had ordered anything fizzy, I would have become easily bloated. To think she understood that profoundly without even asking me, I couldn’t help but ask her curiously why she decided to get me this drink.  
“Well, let’s just say...”  
Kana told me that she had read somewhere about me not drinking coffee at all, that’s why she decided to settle with tea and water instead. Yet, that was something I couldn’t easily believe.  
“Hmm... you read it somewhere huh? So you were that interested about me?”  
Teasing her for an answer, I pretended to be slightly mad at her for such a clear lie. She became flustered and finally decided to confess that she had heard about my tastes from hyung himself before and she didn’t mean to remember any of it.  
“T-That’s why, I hadn’t noticed that I remembered everything what oppa had to tell me about you... which is a bit weird I know.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Damn it. My heart quickly pounded like a simpleton at how she even managed to recall something as meaningless as that. I had to cover my face right then and there just so she wouldn’t see me getting embarrassed over this.  
“Hyung really...”  
A few minutes later, it was my turn to watch her feel taken aback when I told her a little white lie that hyung too might have said a one or two about her back then.  
“Jeez Taehyung-ssi, just tell me!”  
Well, it wasn’t a white lie though. Naturally, I wasn’t going to tell her that again.

Right after we passed the time at the cafe, the two of us decided it was time to go back when,  
 _*ring* *ring*_  
“Taehyung-ssi, isn’t that your phone?”  
Taking out my phone, I was surprised a little at the caller ID that then appeared on the screen.  
 _‘Namjoon-hyung?’_  
“It’s our leader hyung, I’ll excuse myself for now Kana-ssi.”  
She nodded as I then excused myself and walked a distance away to take the call while I can still see her from my view in case something happens.  
“Why is hyung suddenly calling? Did something happen again?”  
With a sigh, there was no use of worrying so I answered it without hesitation.  
“Hello? Namjoon hyung?”  
Although I was expecting hyung’s voice, another voice greeted me instead from the other line.  
“Oh! Taehyung-ah, you finally answered!”  
“Seokjin hyung? But... where’s Namjoon hyung?”  
His usual loud and silly laugh then echoed my ears as he said,  
“Hey! You should be thanking me since I’m the one who called.”  
He wasn’t making sense again. Sighing, I was about to hang up the call if he wasn’t going to say anything until,  
“What? Hyung, if this isn’t important, I’m hanging up n—,”  
“Taehyung-ah, you need to come back to Seoul tomorrow.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
I almost dropped my phone at what Seokjin hyung had just said.  
“W-What?”  
While I was still deep in my thoughts, another familiar voice then took over the phone saying,  
“Taehyung-ah? Are you still there? Sorry if Seokjin hyung dropped that on you all of a sudden.”  
“Namjoon hyung... yeah, I am just surprised. But I know hyung wouldn’t be making up things like that.”  
Hearing him sigh from the phone, he then explained to me,  
“One of our filming for the _Run BTS_ episodes have been moved forward starting tomorrow due to the tour starting soon. I know we’re currently on break but,”  
Namjoon hyung didn’t have to finish his sentence for me to understand where this was going.  
“Okay hyung, just text me where I should meet you and the members tomorrow.”  
“Are you sure? You can contact manager hyung if you want him to pick you up at the station tomorrow?”  
I nodded at his suggestion before he lastly said,  
“Sorry Taehyung-ah, this is kind of short notice too especially when you’re currently enjoying your time there at Daegu.”  
I told him not to worry about it as we said our goodbyes and hung up.  
 _*thump*_  
“Shit, how am I going to tell this to hyung... and more importantly to you, Kana-ssi?”  
Putting down my phone, my gaze then went to one woman’s direction while my chest felt like it was being squeezed and my breathing almost halted.

 _A little while later..._  
After that phone call, as soon as I came back to where Kana was, she was looking at a flier and then dragged me by the hand towards the direction where that flier was advertising.

“This is breathtaking.”  
Now, Kana and I were in a cable car heading down from the tower. I was still deep in my thoughts about a lot of things before her voice then snapped me back to reality.  
“Taehyung-ssi?”  
“A-Ah, is anything wrong Kana-ssi?”  
She then asked another question on top of mine saying,  
“I should be the one asking you that. Are you doing okay, Taehyung-ssi?”  
Was it the right time to tell her? Since it’s only the two of us now, and there are no cameras around who can catch us, no judging eyes watching us, just Kana and I.  
 _*thump*_  
“Yeah, I’m okay Kana-ssi. Just fine.”  
I pretended to smile. Another little white lie. I ran away from what I was really going to say. What a real waste, Kim Taehyung.  
“Okay then?”  
Going back to my inner thoughts, I even ignored any chance to banter with Kana for the time being and just replied at her with silence. In return, she also gave me back mutual silence.  
 _‘Why is it telling her that I’m breaking the promise again so damn hard huh?’_  
I asked myself pitifully.

As soon as the cable car stopped and landed down safely, the two of us stepped out as if we didn’t deal with a real sticky and eye trembling situation inside a few moments ago.  
“K-Kana-ssi...!”  
She was trying to take photos of the view and the cable car when out of the blue it started shaking when we were near landing. Of course, she was about to stumble when I swiftly reacted enough to catch her and ended up wrapping my right arm around her waist from behind.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Shit. I regretted it the minute Kana’s scent and her warmth took over my senses. Her hair’s scent was tickling my nose and I’m not even going to mention about how close our bodies were then and there. It didn’t even help too that her heart’s pounding also grew loud.  
“Are you okay?”  
Thump after thump, I’m glad she didn’t glance back at me even once because I didn’t want her to see me flustered just as much as she also doesn’t want me to see her face’s expression at that very second. Even my voice was trying its hardest not to be obvious at trembling from our current position.  
“Y-Yes, I’m okay.”  
We were stuck frozen in our places until she immediately cuts the awkward silence between us by asking me to let go of her. I let her go of course. I feigned not feeling embarrassed as we just stood next to each other in silence before she shyly thanked me for helping her. I replied as casually as I could.  
 _*thump*_  
“Just be more careful next time.”  
I really should be given another acting role because judging by how I just handled that, I couldn’t believe I didn’t just lose my shit right then and there because of her presence; even though I was very, very close at letting my true feelings go out and about.

We found a beautiful garden when we walked around the ground level of the tower. Not to mention, there was also a mini-amusement park too a close distance from where we were. I didn’t even know about it until now.  
“Let’s go and see it if for ourselves, Taehyung-ssi!”  
Those were the only words I needed as I took her hand without asking for her permission too. Again.

The two of us explored the mini amusement park together. It had been a long while since I came to a place like this. Not for work. Not for any shooting. Not for any promotional. Just as Kim Taehyung the person.  
“You’re smiling more naturally now, Taehyung-ssi.”  
“Yeah, I guess I am.”  
As she asked me if it was my first time at a place like this, I told her about it was quite nostalgic to be in amusement park as a normal guy. I don’t know if it was because of the scenery or the like, but it gets easier to tore down my walls for her now. And before the two of us knew it,  
 _*thump*_  
“Kana-ssi?”  
“You are indeed a _completely normal guy even behind the completely, extraordinary way of life_ you have, Taehyung-ssi.”  
Her words were like a perfect definition of what my life is right now. How she was able to articulate that so admirably just left me in total awe. The way she gently cups both of her small hands on my cheeks saying those carefully chosen words. I will never forget how she looks in this light behind my eyes.  
 _*thump*_  
“Thank you, Kana-ssi.”  
Suddenly taken aback by my thanks, she also thanked me again for everything I’ve done for the past week and days we’ve had together. Why did it sound like a goodbye? Was this some kind of sign that I should tell her I won’t see her again when tomorrow comes?

The sunset was shining brightly golden orange above the sky as we were walking around by the tower’s garden scapes once again.  
“Even the flowers are blooming this beautifully in the summer, Taehyung-ssi.”  
“You’re right.”  
We would catch each other’s gaze like snap that whenever I look at her eyes reflected with mine, I’m making sure I burn this into my memory because who knows what’s going to happen the next day when I’m not here anymore.  
“Why are you looking at me like that, Taehyung-ssi?”  
“I don’t need a particular reason to look at someone, Kana-ssi.”  
I can’t believe the words that just escaped my mouth. It wasn’t like my usual act. It felt like my bravery was on solid ground now maybe because this may have been my last chance to be my real self with her.  
“W-Weirdo.”  
While observing the sunset, Kana took out her phone and started taking photos of the sunset telling me she’s going to send it to her parents. I asked her next if she could send me her photos too. She was a bit stunned at my question but she nodded in agreement and asked,  
“Why do I get the feeling that you’re a photography enthusiast too?”  
She wasn’t wrong. I told her about my passion for photography for years now, how I never forget to take photos wherever place or country I am and how I have a very important camera I carry around with me. But... for some odd reason, why did she look troubled by what I was telling her?  
“Kana-ssi, did I say anything wrong?”  
Kana expressed how she gets the feeling that I’m revealing way too much about myself personally out of formality and politeness towards her cousin being a close friend of mine and all.  
“Is it so wrong of me to share my personal life with someone I want to?”  
“Someone you want to?”  
Did she really think I would share these kind of conversations with just anyone?  
“Yes. You’re someone I want to share these things too.”  
Kana’s face immediately blanked out. I don’t know why. Was I being too forward? I was about to ask her until she turned around and huffed a mumble to herself. She then started walking off from where we were both standing.  
“Hey Kana-ssi...!”  
I called out to her and she said another round of her thanks to me out of the blue. What’s going on inside her head? How much I wished I could read her mind at that second. Yet, my wishful thinking was then answered when she unintentionally let out her raw and honest inner thoughts at me.  
“It must be easy for you to do the things you want when you’re off stage and off camera huh?”  
Right then and there, it felt like I needed to stop the little white lies. I told her the reasons why it was easier for me not to force myself and act like an idol watched by the whole world.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _‘It’s time now.’_  
“Because?”  
I was ready to tell her about how it‘s easier for me to be myself with her for the very reason it’s my last chance to be with her before I leave for Seoul tomorrow, but the next choice of words that then left my lips made me the most speechless.  
“I love you.”  
What? Did? I? Just? Say? Ah shit. Why? Out of the many things I was about to say to her, I had to say the most taboo three words. I’m sure now, I’ve broken every rule I was meant to keep to myself since seeing her again.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Nonetheless, her last sentence struck me like a huge wave, with no mercy at all to the very core of my heart.  
“That’s the worst thing I’ve ever heard from you, Kim Taehyung-ssi.”

And that’s the worst way I’ve felt after all these years, under the dusk colored sky I was left all alone with my dry tears. It was indeed a _cruel summer_ in the end.

***  
 ** _A few days later, Seoul:_**

“Thank you for the hard work everyone!”  
“Good luck on your upcoming tour!”  
As the filming crew wrapped up everything finally, I could breathe out a sigh of relief as I plop my body on the soft leather sofa in our waiting room.  
“Ha~ it’s finally over...”  
While drinking from my bottle of water, I blinked the second my phone lit up and beeped for a new message.  
 _Hyung: Are you still in Seoul?_  
I typed a quick message to hyung since he was the only one I told about coming back to Seoul after what had happened since that day.  
 _Taehyung: Yeah hyung, still here. It’s been hectic. How’s everything there?_  
 _Hyung: How’s everything here? Or how’s everything with her? [ see attachment]_  
When I pressed the _‘see attachment’_ which was underlined, my head had to pause to just look at the woman in the photo hyung just sent.  
 _*thump*_  
“That hyung...”  
“Oh, could it be? Is she the one our Taehyung-ah protected so much a few weeks ago?”  
I flinched the minute I heard a familiar voice coming from behind me. Not to mention, other familiar figures then entered the scene without me even noticing it.  
“H-Hoseok hyung?!”  
“Where? Where?”  
“We want to see her too!”  
Jimin and Jungkook’s eyes then widened in curiosity. I was about to lock my phone but it was no use when they already snatched it from me and gathered together to look at the one photo hyung had sent.  
“H-Hey!”  
“Ho~ she’s indeed pretty.”  
Seokjin hyung remarked.  
“So this is your hyung’s cousin? She has a feminine air about her.”  
“Namjoon-ah, you haven’t even met her yet. But, I kind of agree with you. She does look like Taehyung-ah’s type.”  
Now Namjoon and Yoongi hyung were giving their comments too. Can I be swallowed by the floor right this very second?  
“Hyungs, I managed to find out that she’s living in Seoul currently too!”  
Jimin and his big mouth.  
“Oh? Who knows, we might even meet her soon.”  
“Soon? But aren’t we leaving for the tour too soon?”  
As Seokjin hyung teased me, Jungkook made the rest of the members laugh of his slightly innocent question that Namjoon hyung had to point out,  
“That’s not what Seokjin hyung meant, Jungkook-ah.”  
“So? Judging from how little you’ve been telling us about her, did something happen between the two of you then?”  
Hoseok hyung asked in pure curiosity. And then all stares then focused at me. I then snatched back my phone from them before telling him,  
“No.”  
I just told her I loved her but I didn’t even get an answer, not to mention, I didn’t even know how her face looked like when I had said those heavy three words.  
“Hmm... something did happen then.”  
“What?!”  
 _*thump*_  
Yoongi hyung’s reply made me baffled. It wasn’t only him though. All of them did.  
“Taehyung-ah, we haven’t been together this long for us not to notice that something’s wrong when there is.”  
Namjoon hyung said out loud what the rest of them then thought just by exchanging glances at each other. With a deep sigh, I just sat back on the sofa and said without sugarcoating it,  
“I told her I loved her.”  
“What?”  
“Did we just hear that right?”  
Jungkook and Jimin reacted in plain disbelief with wide eyes on repeat.  
“That means, you confessed? What did she say then?”  
“And can you please tell us her name, I’m tired of using _‘her’_ like she’s some mystery woman.”  
Hoseok and Seokjin hyung reacted differently this time around.  
“It wasn’t a confession hyung, it was a misstep on my part. And her name is Kana-ssi, Seokjin hyung.”  
“A misstep? She must be really important to you that you of all people would accidentally slip up a confession.”  
“Taehyung-ah, will you finally tell us the whole story?”  
Finally after what Yoongi and Namjoon had to say, the latter was right. I couldn’t hide anything from them all these years, not even my feelings for Kana. I took a few deep breath ins and outs before I confessed to them everything that had happened while I was in Daegu for those past weeks.

“Well, I guess that’s pretty much everything.”  
“I see...”  
“No wonder you’re stuck in a daze ever since you came back to Seoul then,”  
Hoseok and Seokjin hyung pointed out.  
“What are you planning to do now Taehyung-ah?”  
Jimin looked at me and asked worriedly.  
“Nothing. There’s nothing to do since I might never see her again.”  
“Why are you saying that hyung? Nothing’s over until it’s over!”  
Jungkook’s energetic voice then made me blink. The rest of the hyungs and Jimin nodded at what the golden maknae had to say.  
“Jungkook-ah is right Taehyung-ah. Nothing’s over until you tell her the whole truth about how you feel.”  
“Namjoon hyung...”  
“You’ve broken all the _rules_ you weren’t supposed to force yourself to do so, Taehyung-ah. Why are you stopping now?”  
“Yoongi hyung...”  
I was stunned of course of the advices they were trying to give me.  
“Don’t get discouraged when nothing has even started yet, Taehyung-ah.”  
“If you like her, tell her. Life’s too short to hold yourself back from someone. Someone that could even make our Kim Taehyung make a sulky expression like this now when we’re not around.”  
Hoseok and Seokjin hyung also gave a piece of their own advice. All of them made valid points but...  
“Is it worth it? But what if it doesn’t work out?”  
“We can’t answer that, Taehyung-ah.”  
“You’re the one who needs to come up with an answer. To you, _is she worth it?_ ”  
Namjoon hyung’s last question lingered inside my head. Not to mention, _her name has echoed through my mind and I just... think she should know_. After all these years of thinking I had forgotten about her, everything comes to light at this very moment. I was in love with Kana for the second time around, but this time, I’m not going to keep it as a _secret_ for the rest of my life.  
“Hyung,”  
“Looks like you’ve made a choice then.”  
“Go for it, Taehyung-ah. If it works out or it doesn’t work out, we’ll be here for you.”  
Namjoon and Hoseok hyung patted me on the shoulders. Yoongi and Seokjin hyung then reassured me by saying,  
“If you leave now, you’ll still be able to make it in the evening at Daegu.”  
“Stop worrying about what other people are going to think Taehyung-ah, your feelings are your own and nobody has a say on that besides yourself. But I guess, you already know that since you’ve protected her with your own effort those past weeks ago.”  
Jimin and Jungkook nodded together and gave me a huge encouraging grin telling me,  
“Our Taehyung-ah really seemed to change even for a bit just after a few weeks,”  
“Fighting hyung! Stop hesitating and just go for it!”  
I lost how many times the six of them had saved me in the past up till now. Grabbing my phone, I was about to text hyung of my plan when my eyes couldn’t stop shaking at a new message.  
 _Hyung: I know you’re still in Seoul but I’ll be throwing a small party by the bar we went to together the last time you visited—_  
“Taehyung-ah, what’s the matter?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Reaching the end of the message, the last choice of words made my heart pound nervously.  
 _Hyung: —so, you’re welcome to come if you can make it. Taehyung-ah, just know that it won’t be only me waiting for you to come back. Kana-yah is also waiting for you even when she’s too stubborn to admit it. Work things out with her before it’s too late._  
With a long sigh, I just looked at the members with a determined expression taking over my whole face as I told them,  
“Guys, I’m going back to Daegu now.”  
They all exchanged nods in approval before the countdown to me seeing her once again started ticking.

***  
It was way past in the evening when I stepped out of the train station. Looking up, there weren’t stars in the night sky which could mean it could be a cloudy or rainy night ahead.  
“Shit, I hope it make it in time.”  
Looking at my watch for the time, I then hurriedly hopped on a taxi and asked him to take me quickly to the address hyung had sent to me.  
“Kana-ssi, I’ll be there soon.”  
Whether she would welcome me back with a smile or not, and whether she had come to hate me or not, it didn’t matter anymore because if it means to tell her everything I’ve been feeling for her since the very start, _I won’t let anyone get in the way_. I then dialed one number from my phone.

***  
I could tell from the drunk state hyung was in from the other line, he was a bit mad at me. The taxi was still stuck in a bit of traffic downtown.  
“Uncle, are we still far from the address?”  
“Not really sir, about two blocks we would’ve arrived there by now. I’m sorry if you’re going to be late for your appointment and all.”  
I told the driver not to worry since it was inevitable. But then,  
“Hello? Oppa is a bit drunk now, can I leave any message from you to him?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
My eyes couldn’t stop shaking at the very familiar voice that then echoed my ears through the phone.  
“Kana-ssi?”  
Recognizing my voice on cue, it took a short while for her to say anything and while there was only silence between us on the phone, I quickly took out money from my pocket and gave it to the driver before I swiftly stepped out of the taxi. I didn’t hang up the call obviously.  
“H-Hey sir...!”  
“Thank you uncle! Keep the change but I really need to go now...!”  
Making a dash for it, it was the first time I’m finding myself running towards somewhere frantically as if I were being timed.

Finally reaching the bar, her voice then echoed through the phone saying,  
“T-Taehyung-ssi, why are you...?”  
Before Kana could even finish what she had wanted to say, I opened the entrance to the bar and ran towards where the voice was getting stronger.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Kana-ssi,”  
And then and there, I saw her again with my own two eyes. I could tell her eyes were shaking in doubt too if she was starting to see things since one moment I’m in Seoul, and next, I’m in Daegu standing in front of her.  
“I-Is it really you?”  
Kana stumbled for words. I was about to walk up to her when I completely forgot about one other important thing.  
“H-Hey Kim Taehyung?! Y-You’re finally here you _pabo_?!”  
Damn it. Hyung then stopped me in my tracks by grabbing me on both sides of my shoulder. He was looking at me funnily and said,  
“Yep, it’s really you. You’re sweating like crazy!”  
He laughed loudly as I then wiped the obvious signs of sweat from my forehead. I hadn’t noticed I was sweating so much because I was only concentrating my attention on one person ever since.  
“Oh, but what are you doing here?! Aren’t you supposed to be in Seoul for some shooting?!”  
As hyung sprung up that question, Kana’s gaze on cue met up with mine that I told him that I came of course since I was invited. Her eyes then widened and went straight to one man.  
“O-Oppa, don’t tell me you told him then?”  
Hyung couldn’t lie to Kana so he nodded like a little child who just got caught doing something he shouldn’t have. She wanted to exit the scene in frustration and I knew that was my chance now.  
“Come with me,”  
“W-What?! Kim Taehyung-ssi?”  
With zero hesitation, I took her hand and made the two of us run out of the bar completely ignoring anyone who could and would stop us for small talk. I have no time to waste because who knows when the woman I’m holding is going to slip away from my sight like a bubble.  
 _‘This is now or never, Kim Taehyung.’_

When we were standing in front of each other a short distance from where the bar was, she felt awkward being alone with me after what had happened between us as she asked me to let go of her hand.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Shit. Good thing it was raining that the anxious pounding of my heart was being covered up by the sound of raindrops.  
“Kana-ssi,”  
“Please Taehyung-ssi, don’t.”  
Kana avoided any signs of eye contact with me. Should I really be doing this? What if this is just going to annihilate me right in the face?  
 _“Your feelings are your own and nobody has a say on that besides yourself,”_  
Seokjin hyung’s words then drifted inside my thoughts like a constant reminder that no matter what happens now, just by looking at the very woman standing in front of me, I’d follow her home _even if nothing safe was worth the drive_.  
“I don’t care if you’re going to hate me any more than you already do now with what I’m going to say Kana-ssi, but I’m going to say so anyway.”  
“What do you mean?”  
As I mentioned the _promise_ , she cuts me off casually and tells me to just forget about it since it was already considered broken and had no meaning so I won’t have anything to do with her anymore. Why is she trying so hard to push me away? Is this my payment for not being honest with her from the very beginning? No, I can’t and shouldn’t think like that now.  
“Whatever oppa had said to you, I didn’t mean any of it so don’t believe everything you’ve heard from him.”  
“And I’m supposed to just believe you when you’re busy pushing me away while I haven’t said my part yet?”  
Our eyes finally locked into each other’s.  
“Taehyung-ssi, you...”  
“I’m not going to lie to myself any longer. I’m tired of keeping this _secret_ especially from you, Kana-ssi.”  
Her eyes looked so conflicted that very moment. Before I knew it, she screamed at me,  
“I don’t want to keep secrets just to keep you!”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
What did she mean she didn’t want to keep secrets just to keep me?  
 _“We all have our own secrets, Taehyung-ssi.”_  
I recalled those exact words back at the tower where we were looking at the bird eyed view of Daegu together those weeks ago.  
“Kana-ssi, if you think that one secret is enough to keep me away from you, don’t even think about it.”  
“You don’t understand...!”  
Before we both knew it, I closed the distance between us and cupped both of my hands on her warm cheeks telling her,  
“Then make me understand.”  
“Taehyung-ssi...”  
Maybe the alcohol was getting to her and this was the rarest chance I could witness her raw honesty coming to life, I couldn’t avert my gaze at her no matter how much she wanted me to look away.  
“I swore to myself back in middle school that I would take the very _secret_ of my feelings for you deep underground because of where we ended off those years ago... but now...”  
“Taehyung-ssi, please don’t...”  
Her clear, brown eyes were on the verge of tearing up, yet I wasn’t close enough of telling her everything I’ve been meaning to do so.  
“Everything started to crumble down when I saw you again at the station, Kana-ssi. When you saw me both as Kim Taehyung, the fool and Kim Taehyung, the idol. When you came running to find me at the riverside, that was when I knew the rules I set up for myself didn’t count anymore. _Rules_ I had for not developing feelings for you once again.”  
“...”  
I continued on as she just kept her silence while maintaining her eye’s gaze at me.  
“I wanted to keep up my cool face for you from the beginning, that’s why even if we kept on bickering over anything, it made me happy. Happy because even if we didn’t see each other again, you’d have pieces of memories about me when you’re continuing on with your life. I was selfish for having an ulterior motive like that, but I don’t regret it.”  
“Taehyung-ssi,”  
Leaning my forehead with hers, the closeness between the two of us almost made my heart trembled but everything was pouring out. I refused to stop.  
“The only thing I might have regretted is,”  
“Is...?”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _Out of focus, eye-to-eye_ , with our _lips close to touching_ , I told her without second thinking,  
“I haven’t told you properly, back then and right now, I love you.”  
Kana’s tears then on cue streamed down her cheeks as my hands caressing her cheeks were right there to feel them and wipe them away.  
“I love you, Kana-ssi. Whether you had pretended to hear me or not back there at the garden, I’m saying it again. I love you.”  
As her tears kept pouring down like the raindrops falling from the night sky, I flinched in confusion when she suddenly pushed herself from me and screamed,  
“I love you! Ain’t that the worst thing you ever heard?”  
She slurred those exact same words she had said back at that very memory under the orange lit up sky. But those words were actually meant for herself. Was that her way of saying she felt the same way then? Or the opposite?  
“Kana-ssi...”  
“It’s wrong... it’s wrong that no matter how much I convince myself that I don’t deserve someone like you... I still do but I also _hear the sound of my own voice, asking you to stay_.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Her last sentence made my heart throb. However,  
“That’s why, this shouldn’t have happened in the first place. We shouldn’t have let things escalate to this. I... I shouldn’t have said _yes_ to you that night.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
It then hits me what night she was talking about. The very night we escaped together from our party. The very same night where I had promised her the best summer of her life. And so, look at where we are now.  
“For the first time, I’m... I’m so terrified of you walking away... because I too, didn’t want to lose you.”  
“Then why are you saying that you shouldn’t have said _yes_ to me that night?”  
Giving me a wry smile, she then said to me,  
“Because I could have saved my heart from a very thin line that I should’ve never crossed in the first place.”  
Kana’s words were piercing but honest, it felt ambiguous but clear, and overall it stung. I don’t know if it stung in a bad way or good way, or just a heavy mix of both.

“Kana-ssi, wait...!”  
She was about to turn her back at me and make a far run for it, but I was quicker as I then pulled her back towards my side, wrapped my one arm around her waist and my other one steadying the back of her head. Her eyes continued to shiver, unsettled of our current position right now as I didn’t avert my gaze from hers even once.  
“T-Taehyung-ssi, don’t... I just can’t...”  
“Ah, screw this.”  
I then moved my face closer to hers and made both of our lips touch under the rain. I had lost how many times I had imagined what it would be like for my lips to touch hers, but it’s true what they say that you wouldn’t know the feeling of a real kiss unless your lips meets up with someone else’s. Everything else just faded around us.  
“T-Taehyung-ssi...”  
She whispered my name in between catching tiny breaths from my kisses, that simple fact was enough to drive me wild. How am I supposed to stop myself now that I’ve had a taste of her lips? And her warm body this close to me which fits around mine perfectly?  
“This is how I feel about you, Kana-ssi.”  
I asserted her lips again with another long kiss, but this time with a little bit of force. As soon as Kana’s mouth opened, my tongue was quick enough to find hers. Even if we were both getting wet due to the rain, even if I didn’t know how this night was going to end, even if she was tugging onto my chest so tightly that it started to hurt, I didn’t want things to stop.  
“M-mmm... T-Taehyung-ssi, wait... a-aah...”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Her soft, shy moans made my heart flip. But even with the rushing pleasure of where everything was going, it was cut off the moment her eyes then started shaking when she opened them and her pushing me away from her once again.  
“K-Kana-ssi?!”  
“I... I’m sorry Kim Taehyung-ssi...!”  
Why did she look even more troubled than ever when she said that? I didn’t know what to think anymore that right after her sudden apology, her eyes started watering again as she then made a run for it.

And the saddest thing was, I couldn’t chase after her as if I felt my feet were glued to the wet ground. I was left alone in my own deafening silence along with the sound of the rain.  
 _“I’m sorry Kim Taehyung-ssi...”_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Damn it... damn it...”  
I fell to my knees and was glad enough that the rain hid the tears that then came out.

This wasn’t how I pictured things should have ended. But it did anyway.

It ended up _treacherously through the sleepless night_.  
And _nothing safe was worth the drive anymore_.  
***  
 ** _Epilogue:_**

_Winter 2019, on the flight:_

“So the next stop is Paris huh?”  
“ _The City of Love_ itself. We’re all stoked to get a chance to perform all over Europe this time around.”  
Hoseok and Namjoon hyung’s voice echoed in the plane during our flight.

It had been months now since the tour started. We started in Seoul and we headed for the U.S. right after and now we’re going to start the European leg of the tour where the first stop was Paris, France. For some reason, the mention of Paris made me remember something I shouldn’t once again.  
 _“I would love to see what kind of place Paris is like soon!”_  
 _‘Kim Taehyung, you’re remembering her again...’_  
I scolded my inner thoughts on cue. It had been months too since what happened that night. Although it’s been months, I still couldn’t forget what happened during the aftermath.

**  
After tearing up in the rain alone, it was hyung himself who found me in my pitiful state during that night. Covering my head with another umbrella he held in his hand, he then said with a sigh,  
“Taehyung-ah, don’t just keep on kneeling there in the rain. Don’t you dare get sick right before your tour’s about to start, _pabo_.”  
“Hyung...”  
When I finally had the guts to look up at him. He just gave me his usual kind smile saying,  
“I’m not going to ask you what happened for now, but let’s go look for Kana-yah together. Okay?”  
Leaving me with no choice, I just nodded. And right then and there, his phone started ringing. He then picked it up after the second ring.  
“Yeah, it’s me. Have you found her yet?”  
Even though hyung was drunk and all, I still couldn’t wrap my finger on how even in his state, he was still reliable and dependable as ever. But then,  
“W-What?!”  
“Hyung, what’s wrong?”  
He looked at me worriedly before he told the person on the other line,  
“Y-Yeah, I will. Call me if anything happens.”  
After hanging up the call, the two of us walked back to right in front of the bar as the rain was starting to drench him as well. He took a few deep breaths before he dropped me the news.  
“Taehyung-ah, Kana-yah seems to be missing.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
I couldn’t believe what I was hearing that my chest pounded anxiously at the same moment.  
“H-Hyung, what do you mean?”  
“Ha... it seems someone from the bar saw a woman that looked like her grab a cab. My guess that was Kana-yah, although I may have thought she would go back to the bar with you at some point or go straight back to my place. But...”  
“But?”  
Hyung just looked me straight in the eyes and said without hesitating,  
“The call just now was from one of our neighbors and it looked like she didn’t head there. If she had took a cab home, she’d be there already by now. But there were no signs of her and a taxi cab by my home.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“K-Kana-ssi...”  
After hearing what hyung had to say, I immediately turned my back at him and made a run for it before he could stop me.  
“H-Hey Kim Taehyung!”  
Grabbing my phone, I then dialed one number. Yet,  
 _*beep* *beep*_  
I was met up with only unanswered beeping of her phone from the other line.  
“S-Shit... Kana-ssi, where are you?”  
No matter how many times I’ve left her calls, there was no answer. Even when I texted her,  
 _Taehyung: Where are you?_  
 _Taehyung: Call me back please, Kana-ssi. Please be okay._  
Nothing. Not a single reply or call back. I went home that night, sleepless because of how heavy my heart felt and how I couldn’t stop worrying if something had happened. I didn’t want my gut feelings to be right.

The day after that night, hyung told me Kana went back to Seoul, that’s why there was no sign of her going back to hyung’s place and why she never answered any of our calls and texts.  
“Taehyung-ah, let’s give Kana-yah some space for now. I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but auntie said she’s okay.”  
I thought at the back of my mind that maybe her parents may have come home from Europe, that’s why she had decided to go back to Seoul, but... that was an entirely different story when I came to Seoul.

It was 2 days right before our tour will start in Seoul. Even if hyung was reluctant of giving me Kana’s address and all, after with much convincing, he gave it to me.  
“Fine. If you want answers, then go find her if you can Taehyung-ah. But please, you have to promise me one thing.”  
I was taken aback by his sudden _‘promise’_ too, but I heard him out before deciding.  
“What promise hyung?”  
Hyung just gave me a troubled expression before he finally said to me in the most serious tone I’ve ever heard him use after all the years I’ve known him,  
“Promise me that if you can’t find her in Seoul, you need to give up on her Taehyung-ah.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“H-Hyung...”  
I blinked in disbelief of what he said that very minute, but of course, hyung wouldn’t say something like that if he didn’t mean it.  
“Taehyung-ah, promise me.”  
“But,”  
“Taehyung-ah, please. If you can’t do it for me, do it for Kana-yah. Do it for both of your sake. I know for a fact that she doesn’t want you throwing away your bright future and what you had built up all these years with the guys for nothing just because of her.”  
 _“It’s amazing how you guys are still just as close as ever after all these years...”_  
Her words echoed my head on cue. I just closed my eyes for a few seconds before I made my decision.  
“I promise hyung.”  
Those simple words were more than enough for hyung as he then sent me the location of where Kana was living in Seoul.

Yet... instead of gaining answers when I was standing outside of her home in Seoul, more questions just loomed. When I was about to ring the doorbell, one of the neighbors then happened to notice me and asked,  
“Ah hello there young man, are you looking for anyone in particular?”  
I nodded.  
“Yes uncle, I’m looking for a girl named Kana-ssi who lives in this house.”  
The uncle seemed nice enough to converse with me firsthand that he just said,  
“If you’re looking for Kana-yah, you’re too late young man.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“What do you mean uncle?”  
His next words could only make my eyes shake in confusion and my chest pound heavily.  
“She had moved out a few days just before you came now.”  
“Moved out? Why? Where did she go then?”  
No amount of questions were enough to explain how I felt that very moment.  
“Ah, you might not have heard but she moved out to live with her parents in Europe. Don’t you see the _‘for sale’_ sign right by the gate’s corner?”  
As I looked at the direction to where he was pointing, the uncle was right. Things started to make sense only now. Why she was hesitant to tell me why her parents were vacationing alone without her. What she meant by _‘soon’_ when she wanted to come visit Europe. Why she was so fascinated by the sight of _the Eiffel Tower_ back then.  
 _“We all have our own secrets to keep, Taehyung-ssi.”_  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“U-Uncle, is it possible that they moved to Paris then?”  
“As a matter of fact, yeah that’s the place.”  
When he confirmed my number one suspicion, it was as if I was struck by lightning at that moment. And it was a sunny day outside then, but that didn’t make it better at all.  
 _“I’m... I’m so sorry Taehyung-ssi...”_

Now I understood the meaning of hyung’s _promise_. I learned it the hard and most pathetic way possible.  
**

“Taehyung-ah?”  
“Hey? Earth to Kim Taehyung?”  
I snapped back to reality at once when I heard Namjoon and Seokjin hyung’s voice ring inside my ears after that rather long flashback.  
“A-Ah yeah, I’m listening hyungs.”  
They exchanged sighs at each other before Jimin said,  
“Yeah, you definitely weren’t listening at all. You were too deep in your thoughts again.”  
Shit. It’s hard to lie when Jimin knows me far too well. It was my turn to sigh and say,  
“Fine. I wasn’t listening. I just remembered some things I shouldn’t have in the first place.”  
They quickly caught on to what I was talking about of course. Hoseok hyung then on cue asked without holding back,  
“You’re still not over her then, Taehyung-ah?”  
What was the point of putting up an act when they could clearly tell I’m doing so?  
“I’d be lying now if I said I was, so the answer is no.”  
Yoongi hyung then said to me,  
“Well, it’s good to be honest. You’ll get there Taehyung-ah.”  
“Hyung...”  
Jungkook also added,  
“Yoongi hyung is right! You’re still energetic as ever on stage even if it’s been months now since the tour started hyung!”  
Jungkook’s happy energy couldn’t help but make me smile. He has that effect not only for me, but for the entire team.  
“Thank you Jungkook-ah. Thanks hyungs, Jimin-ah.”  
In a few hours or so, we would be landing in Paris, France. The very _City of Love_ and where the woman I still couldn’t forget was at now.

Maybe this was a sign that it was finally time to let her go. To let go of her and our summer memories together. Because... maybe this was what Kana had wanted.

Maybe we weren’t meant to be in this life, with both of our lives leading different ways of life. Maybe this is what she had meant that she should have never said _yes_ that one summer night.  
“Kana-ssi...”  
I just looked over the photos that I still have of her in my phone before I dozed off back to sleep on the very long flight.

**  
 ** _Winter 2019, Paris, France:_**

The moment we landed and arrived at the capital of France, we were taken straight to our hotel since it was way past midnight of the next day on the time zone. Everyone was exhausted and just wanted to sleep and rest up. Good thing the concert was tomorrow too.

As soon as we arrived at our hotel, all of us went our separate ways to our designated rooms just like always. Right after I locked my room, I plopped down my things on the sofa before jumping on the bed without second thoughts.  
“Ha~ finally... a nice, comfy bed...”  
Without even bothering to change my clothes, I closed my eyes for a while and fell to deep slumber.

_A few hours later..._

I woke up around past 7 in the morning. I wondered if the other members were awake already. Maybe not. Most especially Yoongi hyung and Jungkook.  
“I should text Namjoon hyung if they’re up.”  
I texted him with my eyes half closed and yes, I didn’t get a reply which meant they were all still asleep. So, I ended up getting a few more hours of sleep.

It was around past 12 noon when we all gathered in Seokjin hyung’s room to eat together.  
“Oh, it seems our rehearsal got moved to around 3 this afternoon later says Manager hyung.”  
Namjoon hyung informed us as he read the message from his phone.  
“Wow, this hotel is something else. We really can see the _Eiffel Tower_ from hyung’s room.”  
“Yeah, I heard it’s going to light up too later tonight.”  
Jimin and Jungkook said in awe of the beautiful Paris view that can be seen from Seokjin hyung’s room.  
 _“I wonder if the Eiffel Tower is indeed taller than Namsan Tower and this tower, Taehyung-ssi.”_  
“Taehyung-ah? Can you pass me the sauce?”  
“Hey Kim Taehyung?”  
I hadn’t notice that once I was drifted off to my own thoughts again, Hoseok and Yoongi hyung were calling out to me. With a sigh, Seokjin hyung had to put his hand on my back to snap me out.  
“Oh good, you’re back with us Taehyung-ah.”  
“A-Ah, sorry hyungs. Got lost in my thoughts again.”  
They all just exchanged passing shrugs at each other before Hoseok hyung said,  
“More like lost in thoughts of a certain someone again.”  
“Namjoon-ah, you had an important reason too why you all called us to Seokjin hyung’s room right?”  
Yoongi hyung’s gaze then went to Namjoon hyung. I blinked in confusion of where the conversation was going.  
“An important reason?”  
For some reason, the rest of the members didn’t look lost of why we were all here. Except for me of course. They all nodded as Seokjin hyung then said,  
“Namjoon-ah, I think it’s time.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Time for what?  
“Um... why are you all looking at me weirdly right now?”  
Jimin and Jungkook just gave me suspicious smiles. And then, Yoongi hyung took out something from his hoodie’s pocket and handed it over to me.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Y-Yoongi hyung, who’s this letter from?”  
“You have to open it to find out.”  
Flipping the white envelope, there was an unfamiliar handwriting that wrote _‘Kim Taehyung-ssi’_ , one person then came to my mind instantly... but it couldn’t be right?  
“This is...”  
The six of them just nodded as I was still doubting whether I should open it or not. Yet, curiosity took over me and I had to know who it was from. If... if it could be from that person.

When I opened the envelope, there were a few pieces of stationery colored paper folded together and a Polaroid photo inside. Holding the photo, my eyes could only blink in disbelief again.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
 _“Summer 2019, with **THE** Kim Taehyung himself.”_  
I read the handwriting written below the familiar photo. It was no other than the first photo I took of us together in that cafe on her phone. She might have printed it out using an Instax film because it really looked like a genuine Polaroid.  
“Taehyung-ah, are you okay?”  
Hoseok hyung on cue asked. My lips just turned to a small smile as I nodded even if my eyes saddened a bit recalling the memory.  
 _“W-What was that for, Taehyung-ssi?!”_  
“Yeah hyung, I was just surprised.”  
The six of them then peeked at the photo in my hand. Jungkook then said,  
“Since she’s the same age as you are hyung, she’s a noona to me then?”  
I chuckled at Jungkook’s cute remark. I know this was just his way to cheer me up. And of course, it was working.  
“Yeah she is a noona to you, Jungkook-ah.”  
“Taehyung-ah, if you want to read the letter alone, you can go back to your own room.”  
Hoseok hyung then said as Namjoon hyung added,  
“You still have time to read it. We’ll come get you when it’s time to go.”  
I didn’t know how to describe the warm feeling I was experiencing in my chest that moment, but I couldn’t feel more relieved that I’m part of this amazing group of people.  
“Thank you hyungs, Jimin-ah, Jungkook-ah.”  
After thanking them, I put back the photo in the envelope. I then asked them two important questions before heading for the door,  
“How long have you guys been holding on to this letter? And who gave it to you?”  
They glanced at each other trying to communicate with their eyes who’s going to speak up and I was a bit stunned when it was Yoongi hyung’s voice I then heard saying,  
“We’ve been holding on to that letter since our tour started in Seoul, your hyung from Daegu asked us to do him a favor.”  
“A favor?”  
They nodded together as Namjoon hyung then continued,  
“You weren’t around but he came to our waiting room right after the concert was over and asked us if we could lend him a hand in giving this letter to you.”  
“But,”  
Jimin then continued on by saying,  
“He said to give it to you once you’re ready, Taehyung-ah.”  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
Once I’m ready? What did you tell them hyung you big blabbermouth?  
“When I’m ready?”  
And finally, Hoseok hyung finished up and said,  
“When you’re ready to admit that you want to move on from Kana-ssi, Taehyung-ah.”

After I left Seokjin hyung’s room first, I went back to my room still baffled of what was the meaning behind the sudden letter I had in my hands. But of course, there’s no dwelling on what it could be unless I read it with my own two eyes.  
“A letter she wrote addressed to me right before she was about to leave Seoul huh?”

Sitting down on the bed, I opened the envelope and took out the photo before I unfolded the pieces of paper that were inside. It had about 3-4 pages of her handwriting that read,

_Dear Kim Taehyung-ssi,_

_I don’t know how I’m going to start this letter to be honest. Maybe even saying “I’m sorry” isn’t and will never be enough._

_I would understand if you don’t want to continue reading it. But, if you do want to read it, I hope you bear with me from start to finish._

_When you told me “ I love you” under the sunset sky we watched together, I chose not to believe you and say that was the worst thing I’ve ever heard from you. I chose to believe that the two of us were just entangled in a cruel, twisted fate to have happened._

_But, underneath it all, I wanted to hide my feelings from you too ever since I realized how much I had loved seeing you smiling so happily without a care in the world when we were at the amusement park together. When I cupped your cheeks with both of my hands, I had to stop myself from thinking if it was okay to do so or not._

_From that point on, all of the doubts I never thought would have existed actually appeared. If I deserved someone like you. If I was worth it of your feelings. If it was okay for me to fall in love with you. If... if I was just simply going to let my heart do everything else without thinking of the consequences... especially with your position and all._

_Taehyung-ssi, you’re a man who’s full of love and care even behind the smart ass remarks and ‘pretty confident’ attitude. It wasn’t a mistake why you’re loved by so many people everywhere. That’s why when you said “ I love you”, I felt I was in cloud 9 but we both know that real life isn’t a movie. It isn’t as simple as a k-drama where after one big problem is over, the protagonists live happily ever after. Right?_

_I appreciated it so much when you tried to protect me from getting exposed by the media and all, but I wouldn’t be able to handle it if you do something like that again. How much more if we just jumped head on with our feelings and you would get caught up in a tough decision in the very end? I didn’t want that to happen. You have a bright future ahead of you with the rest of the **BTS** members. I didn’t want to ruin that._

_When I meant I couldn’t just easily accept your feelings back that rainy night, I was keeping a secret from you. The secret of me leaving Seoul permanently right after my last summer in Daegu. When I told you my parents were in Europe for vacation, they were actually house searching there for our move. The 3 of us were planning to settle in Paris because of my new job. Yes, my new job is actually located in the City of Love itself. That’s why I tried my best to avoid the topic at the tower when you asked me curiously about my parents. Of course, I had asked oppa too not to tell you anything. Please don’t get mad at him okay? He won’t be able to take it if you get mad._

_Taehyung-ssi, “I’m sorry” will never be enough for what I did to you that night. For running away, instead of facing you and your feelings head on, I’m sorry. I have no excuses to say. But I want to be honest with you through this letter, so you deserve to know that when you kissed me under the rain that night, it was the most significant memory for me. To be kissed under the pouring rain, and not to mention by **THE** Kim Taehyung himself. I used up all my good luck in this life, don’t you think?_

_I don’t know if it’s proper to say this, but thank you for giving me the best summer of my life so far. It didn’t end up as happy as we thought it would be, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything else. Thank you for telling me “ I love you”, even though I didn’t say anything back. Thank you for texting me if I was okay when I was the one who ran away from you._

_I hope life is going to be more incredible for you and the group. I will be supporting you guys from afar. I know it’s just only the beginning of what you’re able to accomplish together! I’ll be working hard when I start my job in Paris too because I know when I look at a billboard of you and **BTS** , I’ll tell myself that one man has made even someone like me proud._

_I don’t know when, where, and what season we’ll see each other again, but let’s not be awkward and give each other a heartfelt greeting okay?_

_For the first time I opened up my heart to someone, I don’t regret it was someone like you, Kim Taehyung-ssi out of all the guys who could have existed._   
_When you said “ I love you”, that wasn’t the worst thing I ever heard from you._

_It was actually the most moving thing I’ve heard with my own two ears._

_From the girl who wishes nothing but happiness for you._   
_— Kana_

I had lost at what point of the letter a few of my tears came out, but it surely was a letter from one woman herself. It really was from Kana herself. There’s no mistaking it.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Kana-ssi, you really are...”  
I could feel the sadness, but the sincerity of her feelings from this letter. It summed up all of the questions I had before on why she pushed me away, why she ran away, and why keeping that secret was very important to her.  
 _“It was actually the most moving thing I’ve heard with my own two ears.”_  
Her last words in the letter made me numb. Numb in a good and bad way. I was about to put down the letter when I heard a knock on the door. I wiped the tears from my eyes swiftly.  
“Taehyung-ah?”  
Of course I recognized the familiar voice.  
“Coming hyung.”  
Opening the door, I knew it was Seokjin hyung and all but the reason why he came knocking, I had no idea.  
“What’s wrong Seokjin hyung? Is it time to go already?”  
He just gave me his signature chuckle and said,  
“No, no. I’m just here to give you this.”  
Hyung then handed over a small sticky note to me saying,  
“Manager hyung and the rest of us were holding on to this lastly before you can decide.”  
Huh? What did he mean?  
“Before I decide what hyung?”  
He just smiled suspiciously like Jimin and Jungkook a while ago and told me lastly while patting me on the left shoulder,  
“Whether you decide to go or not, that’ll be up to you Taehyung-ah.”  
I watched him walk back to his room before I headed inside still puzzled of what he meant. My gaze then went straight to what was written in the little sticky note.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“I-It couldn’t be...”  
I could hear the echoes of my perturbing heartbeat right at that instant. There was an address written on it. An address I didn’t know of, but somehow I also knew of.

Without second thinking, I then grabbed my coat, wallet, and phone before stuffing the small note on the envelope together with our photo and her letter and locked my hotel room.  
“I’m not going to miss this chance.”  
I then knocked on Seokjin hyung’s room hoping the rest of them were still there.  
“Hyung! Are you all still in there?”  
After he opened up the door, I entered quickly and told them,  
“I’ve made my decision.”  
They all exchanged relieved sighs as Hoseok hyung asked,  
“Even when you don’t where that exact address is?”  
“If this is my only chance to see her for _one last time_ , I’m not going to waste it.”  
Yoongi hyung then remarked,  
“You must have read the whole letter already then. Namjoon-ah, think we can let him sneak past the hotel staff?”  
“Hyung...”  
“It’s quite rare to see you so pumped up over something in a long while Taehyung-ah. Okay, I’m in!”  
“I’m in too!”  
Jimin and Jungkook then actively started planning out on how I was able to sneak past everyone without being noticed. For sure if manager hyung was going to know about this, I’m in for another lecture but I couldn’t let this simple chance slip.  
“Guess we need to put a lot of thinking then, we have 7x thinking power now in this room.”  
“Namjoon hyung...”  
“I bet we could ask manager hyung for help since he was the one who gave us the address in the first place.”  
Seokjin hyung then pointed out. He wasn’t entirely wrong though. The man always had a point.

So, after careful consideration and everything, the seven of us carried out our plan. With manager hyung’s approval too, of course.

And with that, it was going to be one long afternoon.  
**  
 _Inside the taxi cab:_

I was now on my way to where the address had mentioned in the note that was in my hand. I’m thankful too that the driver only had to read what was written on the note and understood where he the destination was.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“Why am I suddenly feeling nervous...”  
The thought of seeing her again after what had happened made my hands a bit sweaty as I gulped to myself nervously. Maybe the thought of her not being home or maybe even the thought of her slamming the door in front of my face slightly scared me. I then typed a quick text to one person.  
 _Taehyung: hyung, I’ve read the letter. I’m on my way to see her right now._  
It took a few minutes before his reply came.  
 _Hyung: Really? What a strange coincidence too that you read the letter now that you two are in the same country again. Not to mention, I thought you would have blocked me by now._  
To be honest, I wasn’t mad at hyung at all. He was just respecting his cousin’s wishes and privacy so I understood that at the very least.  
 _Taehyung: Me getting mad at you? That’ll never happen hyung._  
His next text then made my eyes go wide.  
 _Hyung: oh by the way Taehyung-ah, it looks like she finally received the package you sent to her all the way from Seoul._  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
How did he know? That was supposed to be a secret between me and the guys only. Don’t tell me...  
 _Taehyung: hey hyung! Are you on the phone with her or not?_  
However, I didn’t get any replies from hyung right after that. Shit. It made me even more nervous than before. Then, the memory of me sending her a package right before we were about to leave for the U.S. then started replaying in my thoughts.

“Are you sure about this Taehyung-ah?”  
“Yeah, I’m sure hyung.”  
The members helped me pack our album I was about to send to one woman even though it was the label who was going to send it to her, anonymously, because the guys and I had no idea where she was living in Paris now.  
“Why are you sending her our album again?”  
Jimin asked curiously.  
“There’s a song on the album I want her to listen to the most.”  
Jungkook then also asked in curiosity,  
“Oh? What song then hyung? It couldn’t be a solo since it’s Namjoon hyung who has a solo song in this album.”  
All of them looked at me curiously in silence then next. Looks like I’m not getting out of this one easily.  
“Jamais Vu.”  
On cue, the trio who sang on the song smiled suspiciously. Seokjin and Hoseok hyung snorted,  
“Heh, is that so?”  
“Don’t tell us the song reminds you of her then?”  
I nodded trying hard not to flush like an idiot even if they were teasing me like crazy over something so cheesy.  
“Hoseok hyung’s first verse hit me straight home. ‘ _Brake in my head, brake in my step, always, all I wanted was to do well—I wanted to make you smile, damn._ ’”  
The two songwriters of the song then placed their hands on top of my head saying,  
“No wonder you’ve been repeating that song for a few weeks now huh?”  
“You relate so much because _even though you feel like giving up, you’re not ready to?_ ”  
I couldn’t find any reason not to agree with what Namjoon hyung then asked. Whenever I listened to the song lately, her face was all I can see.  
“ _A remedy, a melody_  
 _A memory that will be left just for me_ , just as the lyrics say.”  
For me, even if we never saw each other again, if she had a little piece of reminder of me through our music, that thought was enough for me.

***

As I arrived at the apartment complex, I made my way to the floor where the address directed to.  
“Apartment room #613?”  
For some strange reason, I wonder why those numbers seemed a little familiar. But those thoughts immediately disappeared as soon as I finally found myself standing in front of the door.  
 _*thump* *thump*_  
“S-Shit, this is really happening. Get a grip on yourself, Kim Taehyung. It’s now or never.”  
After taking a few more deep breaths in and out, I managed my guts at long last to ring the doorbell.  
 _*ding dong*_  
I had to ring the door bell for a few more times until I finally heard the echo of footsteps and a familiar voice going,  
“Yes, yes. I’m coming.”  
The very moment she opened the door, her eyes started shaking as she could only cover her mouth with both of her hands trying to stop herself from screaming and making a fuss. She kept on staring at me in eerie silence as if she still didn’t believe if it was really me or not standing right in front of her right here, right now.

The only words that then came out of my mouth as our eyes locked into each other’s for the first time since that short, but _cruel summer_ ,  
“Kana-yah,”

_And from that very point, I won’t stop till it’s over._

**_End._**  
***  
 ~~ _Finished: 05/24/2020_~~

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for sticking through my first 2-POV story :)
> 
> Cruel Summer and Treacherous and Jamais Vu hold a special meaning for me while writing Taehyung and Kana’s story. And I appreciate it that you reached this point.
> 
> Stay tuned for my next 2-POV story in the works, featuring Kim Namjoon this time. ^^

**Author's Note:**

> Hyung — the way boys/men address someone as an “older brother”  
> Oppa — the way you address someone as an “older brother” when you’re a girl/woman or a male love interest who’s older than you  
> Pabo — fool  
> Buchu Jeon — Garlic Chives Pancake  
> Daebak — a usual expression of “amazing” or “awe”


End file.
